Isn't The Past Kind?

It's Always Over

A friend (Shawna) did me an act of kindness, thereby freeing me to enjoy (versus endure) my Friday evening. 

If you must look back, do so forgivingly. 

If you must look forward, do so prayerfully. 

However, the wisest thing you can do is be present in the present...

Gratefully 

2. I took Markus to buy (yet another) sweet new camera after he had to cancel his order from a company purporting to sell quality goods.

3. Max and I abused our phone plans (he Snapchats me for free; I receive them with wi-fi for free). It was a nice 15-minute chat in the breezy afternoon sun. 

New

1. Marko (with the help of G, B and S) helped me babysit Mattison's baby: ‘Um, she's crying...’

2. ‘This is Morgen. Do you want to babysit tonight after Dad's wedding?’ I succeeded in my first-ever baby-monitor-equipped job.

3. Morgen met a really nice girl from Nevada. Her company has sent her here on a home nursing assignment.  ‘For three months, I have been busy, taking care of my baby and doing home visits.’ Nice!

Morgen also worked out a gig at Walmart,  (June 1-15). If you're in the area, go check him out re-stocking those shelves! (He decided he was too far behind on his homework assignments for summer semester, so he dropped his classes.)

Help

These Two
leave tomorrow for the carribean
along with a few of their other classmates...

1. Help! Brother's help fixing my broken stair in return for using my washer and dryer.
2. Help! Son sent my money to Aaron's mom on his behalf.
3. Help! Cleaning lady (while I was at work) vaccuumed all the ick away.

Senior Cruise

Max is leaving! I am a little freaked (and so are my sons, who have had him home for *many* years). It's temporary. Not ‘temporary’ - really, just temporary. Yea... so we're all a bit nervous about the arrangement.

1. My son helped me by buying some anti-nausea bands.
2. My son helped me pick up dog food for Skip while he was there.
3. My son offered me a BLT for lunch.

Summer adventures with the senior on the way...

Complimentary

1. I scored free tickets to a Love, Kennedy event (a few weeks ago) and was able to offer my son a complimentary night out.

2. I finished my shift early, just after the baby, so we went for a nightcap (peach gelato, along with a complimentary sample of drizzled chocolate).

3. I gave Max and Markus a lift home. Completely mesmerized by the game, I almost forgot that the other team was from up North. First hockey, now cameras. All in such complimentary, videography of course.

Matters

1. Lazy day poolside, discussing the pros and cons of sunscreen.
2. Viewing some great shorts at this youtube channel.
3. Stirring. Happy that someone moved him on the inside. It doesn't matter if they never meet again. What matters is that even for the broken and the jaded, there is always hope in matters of the heart.

Bakers Gonna Bake

1. Bacon: Markus requested for his first day of summer breakfast.

2. Rustling: Midnight bike ride through the dark, windy 'parkway. All quiet but for the crickets in chorus and the quiet roar of the distant freeway (as opposed to the dirt rumbling off a tractor).

3. Shalom! Voicemail from a doctor. Or Psychiatrist. I don't really know who she is... but everyone gave her a brilliant referral for psychometric testing for Morgen, non? Oui?

What You Got

1. Fashion: I met at my sister's closet. She sized me up perfectly and sent me home with a great French dress. 



1a. Reason: Pres had to kiss on a certain grad she fell in love with. A beautiful discovery. But also beautiful was the discovery that I possess the voice of reason (telling me to pay my bills).

2. 80s: A party of three old bike friends reunited and hit up the Little Red Tour at the beautiful Cache Valley.

2a. Cassette: The lead band member shared our enthusiasm: he popped in an 80s music mix on tape so we could all sing to A-ha's ‘Take On Me.’

3. Cyndi Lauper: What a great time! After a pileup of incredible cycling draft gone wrong, a perfect finish.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

1. Sharon took me on a full-day country bike tour. We biked it all, bottom to top. It was fabulous.

2. There is South Cache Valley - and there is North Cache! And then some. And the cows are fragrant! Logan is one of the world's most beautiful dairy farm communities.

3. We rested at Benson Park lookout point. Ice cream, creamies, sunshine, text messaging and iPhones.

Funny, I wore a t-shirt all day that read ‘L-I-T-T-L-E-R-E-D’ . . .

Bonus: Tenth Year

3,288 Days. 2,704 Posts. I blogged right into the Tenth Year. Looking back, some surprisingly good years. Coincidence?

Things I learned since 2008:

1. Eventually, everything connects.
2. Trust the timing of your life.
3. Blog Diaries are a magic force of positive mental, social and physical change!

Thank you for sharing my nine years of Peachy Things.

Spell

1. The giggle fairy cast a spell upon me.
2. My brother helped me out in a big way.
3. There is a new, cute ninth grade boy!

he had his last day of 8th grade yesterday
and split his chin open at the game the night before...

Bonus post for a 9th blog-iversay coming soon.

10 things...

 I Want To Say To My Son As He Graduates 

When these milestones come, I usually get a little choked up. {And by a little, I mean I'm swallowing big, ugly crying, even just seeing a photo montage.}

While it would be enough to just say "good luck" & "i love you" that's not all there is to say. Not in a million. 

Here are ten things I want/wish/really hope make it out of my mouth before Max crosses that tassel over to the other side. 

1. Congratulations(!)Forget about my sniffing and crying-ness. In fact, forget everyone and make this about you for a quick little moment. Accept every pat on the back and lean into all those slobbery kisses. Take your victory lap. This is one of those moments. Drink it all in.
   
    
2. Keep Calm & Carry On Take your moment, then move on. Now is the first time, but definitely not the last time, that you’ll learn that life just keeps swimming. Keep your head held high, put your eyes forward, then take that baby step. The truth is that everybody worries about what’s around the corner {remember What About Bob?}. Everyday heroes put one foot in front of the other and just do it. It's your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you. But no one can walk it for you. 
3. Pick up your ________________ clothes... room... car... people... self.  Take care of yourself, your stuff, and those you love. A good life is yours to enjoy if you can fill in that blank for yourself a little every day.  
   
4. Find your happy people, things, and even circumstances. Somethings may be fully deserving of the full power of your energy. Hold your temper. Count to ten, whistle a happy tune, find your happy place. Do whatever you have to do to find a peaceful {but workable} solution. The world needs more lovers, just like you. 
   
5. We've got your back You're never alone in this world. NEVER. There’s a power in having good friends and family who're all ready to reach out when you need that helping hand. Let our great love hold you in low moments. And when you get a chance, do the same for someone else. There is almost nothing in the world that will cure what hurts you like doing something nice for someone else. 
   
6. Dare to dream really big, but also live every day with a sense of wonder and be brave too.  A lot of adulting is not so much an exciting new road but a familiar, well-laid path. Look for all the simple joys and brace for the sad, scary things that can surprise you along the way. The moment you accept what troubles you've been given, the door will open.
   
    
7. Show up I noticed while raising you that you aren't just any guy. I kind of watched you being a certain type of guy. The kind that shows up for people. I've noticed that you celebrate their successes and ease the burden of their failures. You help them laugh and sit with them when they are sad. You go to boring parties, lame weddings, and uncomfortable dinner parties because someone asked you to be there for them. Keep showing up. I’ll always be amazed at the joy I've found from watching you doing the thing you really didn’t want to do. 
   
8. All you need is love You told me that you have a lot of choices to make the next few days, months, and years. It can all seem a little overwhelming. Let The Beatles provide a little help in this: all you need is love. If you have it, give it. Plain and simple. Spread love around like you could never give enough of it. Then you won’t just have a blessed life, you will be a blessing to others as well. 
   
9. You look incredibly handsome Seriously. This one catches in my throat every time. That picture of you on the ice with all the other graduating seniors? Almost did me in.
   You have no idea what it’s like to watch someone grow up before your eyes yet, but I hope you get that privilege. You were a beautiful, perfect boy the minute I met you and your bright, golden light has never dimmed. I'm so unspeakably proud of the young man you have become inside and out. And you look great in that cap and gown too. Really, you're rocking it. 
   

   
10. I love you Truly, honestly, deeply. This day. Every day. Forever. Take that knowledge with you into beautiful corners and brave new worlds. Let it keep you warm on cold nights and out of dark places. 

The best is yet to come, sweet boy. You got this.

Love, Mom

Pleasure

is an attempt to fill yourself

Joy is who you are

I heard some enthusiastic, albeit unusual, compliments last evening from the hospital lab tech (phlebotomist):

1. ‘What beautiful veins you have!’
2. ‘No one has said this before? They are so borrring!’
3. ‘You have made my Dracula Day!’

Predators

Harlan Pratt from Nashville, Tennessee is the coach of the Nashville Jr. Predators. He called to ask Markus to tryouts tomorrow night. I'll be thinking of him when I'm watching Marko on the ice at Steiner, since Markus declined his invite - stating he still doesn't know how to use the washer and dryer, or live without his family.

Now if it was the Jr. Penguins...
might be a different answer(??!)

Poppy In Memory

It was a long weekend in America, so Monday felt like the second coming of Sunday. Taking a moment to remember the ultimate sacrifice.
Do you ever get caught on long weekends without enough groceries? She did. And since she didn't want to eat from a gas station, she scoured her kitchen:

1. Dutch Babies! Eggs and filling! Sorta' lemony fabulous.

2. If life gives you roses, make flower arrangements!  The scent alone was worth it. She really thought she was onto something... admittedly, it was a bit thorny. But with a little care, it might just do the trick! 

3. The rest of her was fuelled by sheer determination.

Lest she feel like a bore, she ventured out, past the stream, for a hike in the cool canyon, over rocks and over-hills. After all, holidays are for celebrating! 

And like her grandmother used to say, with tears in her eyes ‘There are no mountains like these.’

Good At Naps

"i once had a thousand desires, but in my desire to know you, all else melted away." - Rumi

Let Yourself Be Enchanted

at the ball

Last night, while Max was off dancing with Preslee at the Centennial Ball, I was at work and witness to a woman, poor thing, the moment she received news of her father's sudden death. There was nothing good about it. It was so powerful, it erased the day's memories.

If anything good came of it, it made me reflective. Thoughts of my family. Here are some highlights. (To my son Max, special post for your graduation forthcoming...)

The men:

1. My dad taught me the value of algebra. Years on the ice with a sharp pair of skates, or metal harnesses + honing stones, have rendered my math for life. This was of utmost importance when I eventually ended up in nursing school.

2. My uncle always gave me beautiful gifts wrapped in ugly packaging. The meaning was not lost on me. Then he'd say (and I can still hear him), ‘You got it, Pontiac.’ A car thing?

3. After stopping at a Great Harvest bakery on Monday after walks to get cinnamon bread (always sliced), my son and I would sit on a bench in the park overlooking the big cottonwood creek,  watching little fish coming and going at Old Mill pond not far below.

The women:

3. Rosella (grandmother) and Newell Parley would often come visit us on weekends. In between conference sessions, housecleaning and Lawrence Welk on TV, repeated reminders: ‘Do you see this hand! Yeah, put it in your pocket.'

2. Fern (my great aunt) always brought us Silver Dollars. A very matter-of-fact lady, she and Grandma Jo had no time for our snivelling. ‘One day you'll appreciate your mother.’

1. I better save some for my mom. But what is it Mothers always say? Yup, ‘Life's not fair.’

wisdom teeth {not that wise}

1. I love smiles and I have found the best place in Salt Lake for fixing them. Wisdom Teeth. I haven't seen a wiser surgery center anywhere.
2. I am dizzy for Morgy, who took time out of his day to help me bring back my newly, gorgeously (and much needed) sleep. 

3. I clean when I am happy; I clean even better when I am happier. So a lot of good came out of my happiness late in the day.

you rock

one of Max's presents from his momma

1. Lil Uzi waxed poetic about music, which got my mojo going!
2. My neighbor needed to borrow a cup of sugar. For real, she also invited me in and we chatted about Little Red (cycling event - not the girl) next weekend.
3. The flowers were born. Shabby weeds do not a garden make.

Bonus: Max

1 year old

Happy birthday Maxidoughshis, I love you.

I don't know that you've been waiting for this day, I do know that you have big plans to celebrate. Before you go to the concert with your friends, I wanted to tell you some things now that you're an adult. Soon you will be headed out in to the world, and it tugs on my heart as nothing ever has before.  I love all of my three boys equally, I bonded with you in such a way I think because you're my middle son, and I am a middle child as well. I hope that the choices I've made along the way have been the right ones for you. Your future is in your hands. It seems like yesterday I was bringing you home from the hospital, helping you take your first steps, taking you to kindergarten while I cried my eyes out, kissing your owies, and reading you bedtime stories...there are so many "firsts." You made my life better just by being in it. I couldn't have asked for a better son - even in my wildest dreams. You're:

• wonderfully loving
• sweet
• thoughtful
• generous
• caring
• smart
• funny
• young

I'm just the lucky mom who gets to claim you and love you. 

I don't mean to embarrass you with this; however I do believe that it's my prerogative to allow my emotions to overwhelm me at certain points of my life. The opportunity to begin the next chapter of your life as you enter into adult-hood is one of them. It's because this means that my chapter as your mom is going to begin changing as well. So please be patient with me as I'm crying as I write this. From the first moment you were in my tummy, I experienced this unimaginable joy and love. Unconditional love, from the first look in your eyes to the first time you wrapped your little fist around my finger, I was instantly in love with you. I remember standing by your crib for hours, just looking at you, watching you sleep. I was in awe that such a precious, perfect little baby was mine. I would sometimes just cry little tears of joy as I held you, and some nights I would get up and hold you while you slept. I feel like the luckiest mom alive to have you for my son. It's been 18 years of pure emotion being your mom, love, joy, worry, sometimes the emotion wasn't even mine, but yours. When you're happy, excited, or sad, I feel those things too. Did I help you feel important, and did we find enough time for the important things like memories of laughter, hugs, and "just the two of us" moments? Did I show you enough that you mean the world to me? And more importantly, do you know that I love you? I hope so and that I helped you feel cherished and loved.

I find myself looking at you wondering if I've told you all the things that you'll need to know to go out on your own, where I'll no longer be a part of your everyday life. There will be college (hopefully) work, maybe hockey, Preslee who stole your heart, some career that keeps you busy. I know that my opportunities to teach and influence you will soon slow down to only Sunday dinners sometimes, and holidays. You are responsible for your own life, and as scary as that sounds, your emotional well-being, your fortune, your happiness all essentially belong to you to steer in any direction you choose which is also exciting. I'll still be here to hold your hand for as long as you'd like (I'm not going to move all your belongings out into the driveway like Dad's mom did. Not yet anyways. :)) I know you aren't sure what life has in store for you, but like I've said before, just plan to be surprised. Some of the best things in life are surprises. I'm a little nervous for you and at the same time glowing with pride at the young man you have grown up to be. The days are long, but the years are short.

Pay attention to the things you're naturally drawn to. They are often connected to your path, passion, and purpose in life. Have the courage to follow them. Next week, at your graduation from high school, I hope you will know, of all the things in my life that I might have, could have, or should have done differently, there's one thing I'd never change, and that's having you for a son. If I didn't say it before, I'm saying it now, and I hope I always showed it - I'm proud to be your mom...forever. 

I love you my sweet, baby boy... with all my heart and soul. 

Happy 18th birthday!! xoxoxoxo

********************************

Please wish Max a very happy 18th birthday today! He really deserves all the love and good wishes he can receive, from everyone I know. 

Allies

Woven throughout a happy and fulfilling birth-day of fun encounters, my boys were my allies:

1. An ally in Max at our house.

2. An ally in Markus at the wild west Jordan park.

3. An ally +1 in Max and Preslee at Red Basil cafe.

I have to add that he'll never forget having Thai food with strawberry cake - sassy!