Allow Failure

We needed to live the fast life to understand why we needed to live a slower one. We needed to chase the wrong things, to learn the hard lessons the hard way. The falling nearly always comes before the learning, and sometimes, yes, even after the learning. It is an impossible step to skip.

Allow it. 

Learn from it. 

And re-learn from it again and again. 

Walk Ahead

Take one step, start small.

Experiment.

Ask yourself: What area of my life brings the most stress, currently? Get specific. 

What stumbling blocks are ahead? Move them, or move around them. Markus dreads picking up his clothes off the floor, so now he keeps a strict No Clothes In the Closet policy at home. Another thing he despises is mono, so he rewards himself with a gatorade a day for every day missed of school. 

Infuse tiny joys into your day in whatever way you can. You have far more power over this than you think.

Forget "but."

Sometimes I'm tempted to resist change because of the "but." 

But what will my family think? 

But what will my career look like?

But what if it's too hard? 

It is wise to survey the "but," to consider it a lesson in preparedness, to let it inform your plans. And then it is wise to proceed anyway.

Consider Your Compass

Life is immeasurable. 

With a path, that winds in the most unfathomable, incredible way.

Rather than setting a goal to encourage the arrival, consider setting a compass to encourage the journey. A compass guides graciously, rather than mandates mercilessly. It offers a gentle whisper that yes, you're headed in the right direction. It is ever-necessary in navigating your life with conviction and curiosity, rather than convention and conformity. Find your compass in something unchanging, something that you deem true and stable. (Markus' is here.)

NOTICE IT

The trick is to notice the feeling if you're not who you want to be, who is?

Live with the tension. 

Cozy up in the space in between: get comfortable with the discomfort. 

This is life, in all its glory. 

Do not numb it.

Do not wish it away hoping for days without hardship. Once you've noticed the chasm, you're well on your way to the good work; figuring out what it means to live a life that's ripe with limitations and riddled with lessons, but resounding in love. 

Connection

Slow Living is for connection

for having the space in our day to welcome an impromptu visit to the mall

for having the space in our mind to open the door to the car even though it's scary to let someone else drive.

It's thinking about the way we live, and asking ourselves why.

-

And, of course we can do all this in any season, at any moment. 

But, if you feel buried, here's a shovel. 

Do not victimize yourself. 

You aren't buried alive until you're buried alive. Call it what it is: resist your urge to exaggerate your current state of living. Chances are, if you're reading this, you are noticing a bit of a chasm between the life you lead and the life you want to lead. Here's a secret: we all have this feeling. We all have this gap. There is nothing broken in me that isn't broken in everyone else. I've been conditioned to want something different than what I have been given. But, I've also learned that I have two choices: (1) Chase someday, or (2) Accept today. I have chosen the latter. I am here. I am breathing. I am alive. I am well(ish). For now. And for now, that is enough. 

Slow Lane

Two years ago, on a brightly lit screen in East Murray, I asked myself this:

How do you get off the phone and simply pay attention? 

Breathe. 

Surveying our lives, looking for triggers, inviting passion into the day. But of course there is more.

I'm a believer that living slowly is possible in any season. It takes lots of practice, to see past the mechanics of it all - to look at current circumstances and call the whole lot a gift. It takes practice to remind yourself that perfection is not just around the corner, that arrivals don't exist, that a better set of circumstances don't necessarily lead to a better life.

Slow living has never been about logistics. It's about linguistics.

The question then isn't about what slow living looks like, who can achieve it, how to master it, where to do it. The question isn't "What is slow living?" but instead is "What is slow living for?"

And the answer is simple: Each Other.

Sunset

Sunset

Lightning Up

I'm Going To Tell Everyone To Lighten Up

Join The Club

No cavities club

I have been called off of work for the past three out of four shifts. There are just not that many people having babies right now. So I have more time to enjoy life and take Markus to the dentist for his check ups.

Me, Jane

Aria was Jane in her high school musical "Tarzan" 

He's Baaaack!

Skip is pretty happy about that...

and so are Preslee and I 

Markus and Morgen have missed their buddy. 

Skippy

A Girl's Best Friend

FIFTEEN

Fifteen there is still time for you 

Never a wish better than this...

Mankind

"I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means." 

Welcome to Denver

Hi, there! If you've been visiting this site for any number of minutes, you'll likely have read my "official" bio. If not, it's here. It's the sizzle reel of my career thus far; the big, celebratory moments awash in the glitter remnants and golden trophies. (Actually, there are only trophies for these boys. Can I get a trophy?)

Let's Taco 'Bout

how much I love you

I'm a mother, but I want to be a doctor.
I'm a chef, but I want to be a food critic.
I'm an artist, but I want to be a writer.
I'm a student, but I want to be a pianist.
I'm a pianist, but I want to be a student.

I'm a this, but I want to be a that.

—

I can do that, if I want. You can be that, if you’d like. You don’t need permission, not from me, not even from you, but here it is anyway.

—

When I started blogging over a decade ago (Internet Old Maid Alert), I was a mom, a gardener, a skating instructor by day, writer by night, living and working in the West, weaving through gyms, children's museums, cyclists, exhibitions, swimming pools, collecting inspiration by the bucketful.

Eventually, my blog became an online photo gallery. Shoot, I had become an online photographer. I’d dig, dig, dig, discovering something new with every opened Safari tab.

I’d share it all.

Along the way, I launched into my nursing career. I curated a few online photo bucket accounts. I designed a few skating clinics. I did a 2 year stint for SLCC. I kept collecting.

Every morning, it was this: Let out the dog. Open the windows. Oatmeal. Safari tabs.

This, for ten years.

It was incredible.

Super-what?

1. Got off on the right feet, hockey all day for the California state championship.
2. Praise to Max, who had the puck.
3. Out with a bang at a Long Beach movie theater for Preslee's goodbye. When your boyfriend is busting a move to Justin Timberlake and you keep shaking your booty on a hard-wood-covered dance-floor,  you know you're having a good time.

Super Bowl half-time shows with the gift to inspire dance in others. (I'm talking the shake-your-booty, lose-your-head, fun kind.)

Max

I am back after a wonderful time in California (I could write 10 Good Things each day). I must mention Max.

I arrive last week in Los Angeles thinking I'll spend two days on my own browsing the shops (if you don't shop here, spend the extra time in Hollywood or wherever). Preslee - Max's girlfriend whom I went on a trip once to Sun Valley last year - is at the airport with her mom giving us a ride. She recognizes Max and stops me in my tracks (I am a moron and nearly don't capture the moment). Max lives here. We take the ride into the city with some hockey gear in the back seat. We all go out for thai food. I call my sister, boyfriend and sons that evening. A lovely time is had by all. My California experience is radically improved.

All by 100% Preslee stance!

Muchas Gracias

February 2-4 - Seal Beach, California

I didn't imagine that I would spend four such excellent days in California.

None of it would have happened without Preslee the pretty and Maximilian the magnificent.  They are in the Dictionary of BB under many entries including, but not limited to, energy, love and friendship.

I Got You Babe

Memory on repeat. When I stepped out this morning, sparkling, intense rays hit my face in a big sunshine kiss, warming me up inside and out. It was actually the happiest moment of my groundhog's day.

On Wednesday - We Wear Red

Happy Birthday, 2018! One month already. Thanks for sharing with me as I raise my level of positivity and women's heart health. I look forward to your continued feedback. 334 to go.

Blankets

1. My friend's voice on the phone.
2. My son's voices on the phone.
3. My sisters' voices on the phone.

Oh, and Murray's blanket supplier surprised me with a dozen senior blankets... six weeks early! A first in my books.

WHL

1. Garlic was oozing out of my body all day. This was very good because it kept the winter flu at bay (as well as everyone and everything else).
2. I made significant progress in my workout. Shoutout to my trainer. You can love a body this much!
3. *Late night news alert!* One of the absolutely coolest people I know got invited to a WHL combine on Saturday - after his surprise scouting! I was wondering how it would unfold... no razzmatazz, no pageantry. I couldn't be happier. Congratulations!

Lottery

Shis happens every day, but the more I think about good things, the harder it is to narrow them down. Like today:

1. I left the house on time for lunch (even if I had to call a repairman).
2. I listened to the yummiest song ever: Done With Love by Zedd (possibly a collaboration).
3. I received an email: Little Red Lottery - I got in again! (now accepting rider submissions).

I Ran

1. I ran like thunder!
2. Enjoyed some eye candy at the gym.
3. The Winco store let me take my groceries debit since they don't take Visa.

Tires

First,
• ordered from walmart.com; took a month to come in.
Second,
• wait for three hours at low temperatures in the store, only to find out they were the wrong size.
Third,
• indulged in help, tires installed that are the right size!

Friday

1. Friday has arrived. I've got nothing against that.
2. The baby is out. I've got nothing against that either!
3. I'm having a good hair day, all things considered.

Stronger

I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but Markus played against a high school team last night. Shoot away!

See, he has grown a bit! (Don't get me wrong. I love my son, but he still has some growing up to do before he leaves next year.)

Titans

1. Precious time to Bless this Mess. I did a Nurse Nelly and took my skills on an offensive. Pre-Eclampsia, be gone!
2. An old friend asked me to help set up extra practices for the playoffs.
3. I discovered that Live Barn now has an archive section. Live Casts blow me away. Global hockey and skating streaming into my phone wherever I go... we're all Citizens of the World, you know what I mean?

Sophie

1. A cool dude (all of forty-one years old) flirted with me on the date: sang, danced, mimicked me, teased me furiously. It was hilarious.
2. I watched a movie off the Internet. Was this good? Well, yes, it was good that I didn't have to pay $10 to see it at the theatre.
3. In my search to find out who else out there is doing online dating I hit the jackpot. Check out the list above. (I'm now deleting my Match account, by whatever name.)

Lake Effect

People almost died. I ran late. I saw a movie I really liked. It all paled by comparison to this weekend's many, many charms!

1. I took notice of myself smiling at someone today. No reason. 
2. Lake Effect: jeans, fur vests, friends, love. It bears repeating how totally radical and splendiferous this surprise meeting was.
3. Coming home to an empty fridge after a night shift sucks. My lovely son shared his pizza slice with me at 3pm.

Digital

1. I had a few minutes in the #1 spot on match.com. The Internet is such a strange place.
2. My sister called me to ask how I'm doing.
3. I finished the final assignment for my recent day of work. TIME TO PARTAY!

Thanks for your clicks, all y'all!