Come What May (and Love it)

{Max taking a shot (top left) at the beginning of his first Jr. Grizzlies practice}

If there's one thing launching into the absolute unknown will teach you, it's that the thought "What on earth am I doing?" can move really quickly and repeatedly through your head. All day long, too. And at 4:15 in the morning.

It's the fourth semester of nursing school now, and I'm loving it. I haven't had a single moment of thinking "I've made a terrible mistake": if anything, every minute I spend there, or online on the canvas site, or even walking to and from class surrounded by people about half my age is that this is where I am meant to be. I'm feeling my intellect rise stiffly from the mud, and begin stretching, to work out the knots and cramps from sleeping so long. Even walking through the ground of the health science center is inspirational to me, with the architecture making me laugh:

or sigh in admiration:

So I know I haven't made a mistake in my decision to finish what I started all those years ago, and even a year in I can see this semester with pediatrics, obstetrics and mental health nursing are leading to a choice of career that excites me - I'm thrilled just looking at what the next year of studying will involve!

That being said, I've been chewing over this assignment for class.

Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats. 

I've got the Weaknesses listed right off the bat:

1. Self-doubt
2. Self-doubt. (Yes, twice - it's my biggest weakness)
3. Inability/insane difficulty in asking for help

Opportunities are easy:

1. RN degree that fascinates me
2. Emerging areas for study
3. Upcoming job interview New Head Unit Clerk job
4. Letting my brain run free in all areas of my life

Threats (to me and my family)

1. My sleep deprivation
2. Not saying 'no'
3. Time management fumbles

It's the Strengths that have taken up a significant chunk of my mental processing. What I've got so far:

1. Communicator
2. Passionate parent
3. Great test taker
4. Efficient
5. Cool in emergency situations
6.    ??
7.    ......
8.    um....
9.    ...?...
10. Does sarcastic humor count?

Some friends have said "Shouldn't you just be going to school? You know, the whole do something you love idea?" While the idea definitely has merit, I deliberately chose NOT to do that because:

1. I can't think of a better way than to work within the "nursing degree" field to have those learning experiences. Yes, that includes long-hours, on-call shifts, etc.
2. The brain fascinates me, and has for years. Doing my degree will give me a career that has so many different options and pathways I get giddy - and grin - just thinking about it.
3. The careers through my degree are much more financially rewarding and secure than any skating related.
4. Shhhh - it's a secret little fourth one - I'm not really sure I'm good enough to coach skating full-time for a living. Or the work that I'd end up doing (which would already be "settling" - see point 1) would take my attention away from the books and clinical's I need to complete my RN degree.
5. I'm far more excited about simply what's involved in doing my degree than the thought of PSA certificates, and that says a whole lot as well.

So I will keep on writing on my blog, teaching for my students (even when I do get freaked out when so many people call me for lessons), plan and write some nursing diagnoses/care-plans/process recordings, all around the growth and development that my degree will put me through.

And hopefully be able to fill out a couple more of those "Strength" spots. Though looking at it right now, it sure suits the degree I've chosen!

{Max taking a knee after the 1-1/2 hour practice}