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| Sitting in the sun |
Disclaimer: I’m not an expert, and I certainly didn’t invent this approach. This is just the method that helped me figure out self-care, and I hope it can help you too.
- Establish a baseline, a.k.a. stop putting poison in your body. This one may hurt, but cut out caffeine. Unless it’s prescribed by a doctor, cut out all the addictive stuff. Even if you only cut out caffeine for a couple of weeks, it will help you establish a baseline for what “normal” feels like. You might be surprised what you’ll learn about yourself.
- Make a self-care list. Write down everything you do (or could do) on a daily basis to care for your physical, mental, and emotional health. Start with the really easy stuff, like brushing your teeth, and go from there. Here’s my list to get you started:
- at least 8 hours of sleep
- brush teeth
- wash face
- exercise
- stretch
- meditate
- write a blog entry
- eat at least 3 meals
- take allergy meds
- clean kitchen before bed
- pack lunch for next day
- massage!
- I added a weekly massage to my list after attending the women and newborn conference where they talked about massages, and I love it! If you’re having trouble coming up with things, go through your day from beginning to end. What makes you feel better, physically or mentally?
- Figure out your priorities and make it manageable. This was the step that made a huge difference for me. Take your list and break it into three smaller lists: need, want, and bonus. The needs are things that are absolutely non-negotiable. The wants are things that you would really, really like to do, but you won’t be completely derailed if they don’t get done. The bonuses are things that you know will help you, but aren’t a priority.
- Don’t be afraid of trial and error. It took me some time to figure out my three lists. Originally exercise was a need and eight hours of sleep was a want. Then I started to notice that on days when I sacrificed my sleep to get a workout in, I almost always had a bad day. I flipped them, and it was a world of difference. I don’t feel as good when I don’t work out, but I don’t have the massive meltdowns I have when I miss my sleep. If you’re anything like me and you’ve spent years mistreating your body and mind, you might have no idea where to start, and that’s okay. Listen to your body, pay attention to what makes a difference, and make changes accordingly.
- Make your needs non-negotiable. No more binging Downton Abbey until one in the morning because it’ll be okay just this once. No more slipping up and forgetting to take your meds. No more working through lunch and figuring that two meals will be fine. Make your needs, and your health, your first priority.
- Use your energy wisely. If you finish all yours needs and you still have time and energy to start working on your wants, try to pick things in order of what will take the least effort and help you the most. I know my morning will be infinitely easier if I take the five minutes to pack my lunch, so that’s usually the first thing I do when I still have the energy. Mindfulness is pretty easy too. If you’re new to mindfulness, I highly recommend the app “Headspace.” A soothing voice walks you through ten minutes of mindfulness, and you won’t believe how quickly you’re able to relax into the practice. (I’m not selling for them or anything, I just really like the app.)
- Be ambitious, but don’t overwhelm yourself. My bonus column is pretty short because honestly, it’s pretty rare that I get to it. If you find yourself getting through all three lists and you still have time and energy, add more things! Even if it’s just an extra half hour of reading, add it to the list. That being said, if you find yourself barely getting through the needs, don’t beat yourself up. You’re on the road to self-care, and that’s the important thing.
Breaking it into these steps has made a huge difference for me, and I hope it can help you too. I’m still pretty new to the self-care game, and it’s not always easy. Some days I can get everything from every list done and still feel great. Some days it’s a struggle to get all of my “needs” done before collapsing into bed. I think (and hope) it’s one of those things that will get easier with time. I’ll be sure to keep you posted.
