Enough

A few nights ago, I hopped a red-eye home from LAX with a carryon of swimsuits and books, toothpaste. I’d gone glamping with this crew, although glamping is perhaps a reach to write. One morning, I woke to find glitter in my shoe.

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There are two ways to get enough. One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.

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I have for most of my life been mindful of budgeting. My parents were wise to raise me with the most basic concept in money management: 

Always, always live below your means.

We were frugal, is all. I was frugal because my parents were frugal, they because theirs. Once I became [somewhat] gainfully employed as an actress on commercials, I was taught to make choices with my paycheck: Splurge it all on the new Nike or spend a little on Bonne Bell Cherry flavored lip balm and save the rest?

My decision was always the same: May it be known that the summer of ’82 was a very good year for me in terms of lip hydration.

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The paycheck has changed, the circumstances have shifted, the foreseeable needs and wants and musts have all been altered. (Although I hear good old Bonne’s Cherry flavor is still all the rage, as it should be.)

And yet, my parent’s example continues to serve me well:

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Always, always live below your means.

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Markus and I sometimes ask for help on living a single-income hockey life. How did I pull it off? How have we managed to carve out a life of travel  – both of us sometimes when schedules permit, maintaining a secure, stable paycheck? Isn’t it scary? With three kids, especially?

And you know, I do have a few thoughts on the subject…

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1. Put in the work up front.
   I lived a very disciplined life throughout my 20’s. I was both interested in saving the bulk of paychecks and investing wisely (I chose real estate at the right time). When friends were shelling out cash for expensive dinners and late-night concerts, I packed a loaf of white bread and a jar of peanut butter and people-watched at the park. It didn’t quite matter what I was saving for as much as it mattered that we get in the habit of spending far, far less than we made. It’s a habit that has never led me astray.
2. Be content.
   My income has changed with my circumstances, but my spending habits haven’t. I still drove the same car I first purchased in college (shout out to my Honda CR-V!) over 12 years ago, because it worked in getting me from A to B. It was functional, and I was content with it. That is hard work, certainly (confession: I would get mildly envious of those luxurious seat warmers, although truth be told, I’d even settled for automatic locks and windows!), but it’s a secret I’m convinced of: Contentment is always a worthwhile choice, in finances and in life.
3. Trim the fat.
   I used to make traditional budgets with spreadsheets when I was twenty, and a few years later, I began using Quicken to track our everyday expenses (head’s up: those automatic categories are a dream come true when tax season rolls around). Once you watch the budget tally up your $4.50 smoothie habit, you’ll rethink that daily juice shop visit.
4. Learn from your mistakes.
   We all make poor financial choices (the once-used pressure cooker in my pantry is my own evidence of this), but often, failure is the first step to learning. Over time, you’ll learn your triggers. Love shoes? Steer clear of the mall. Gluten for junk? Avoid the Target $1 aisle. Often times, budgeting is about avoiding short-term comfort in favor of long-term comfort. The more you learn about yourself, the easier this will become.
5. Ease up.
   With financial planning, it’s easy to be either all too lax or all too rigid. What good is planning for tomorrow if we’re not attempting to enjoy today? Take a good look at your family’s values and invest in those, whether that means piano lessons for the musical ones or a backyard trampoline for the neighborhood. It’ll look differently for everyone, as it should. The less I find myself focusing on money in the day-to-day, the easier it is to remind myself that saving money is a tool to achieve goals, but not the goal itself.
6. Lower the overhead.
   This is especially helpful when opting for a lower-stress route, because a set paycheck is truly never guaranteed. For us, living below our means has meant avoiding overhead. Saving your dollars until you can afford to make a purchase in cash means you get to own your things, and your things don’t get to own you.
7. Be generous.
   Sure, it’s simple to hide all of your funds for a rainy day, to amass piles of cash for someday use. But for me, allowing room for generosity and investing in kindness toward others has always offered far greater rewards. I’d rather be rich in love than in dollars.

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Yes, that quote was right.

There are two ways to get enough.

You can want for more, or you can want for less.

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But there’s also a third way to get enough:

You can want for precisely what you have – not more, not less. You can enjoy what you’ve been given and enjoy when you’ve been given it, and you can be good stewards of the rest.

(And may we wake to find glitter in our shoes.)