Renegade

Some new photography work of the ice. Stanley cup. Four time champion. New coach.

Next season coming up.

Feel The Fear...and do it anyway

Some more photos of the scene. In pairs. 

Hope you're having a good summer. 

More soon...

Everything comes to you at the right moment...be patient...be grateful

There was the matter of Serenity. I washed yellow shirts in one batch, green in another. When the green batch was filled to almost the top, they were standing in the storage room and set aside the tent and sleeping bags. I added a touch of fabric softener so the shirts wouldn’t static and lowered the lid. Four years, going to school and selling security systems, and returned from Oregon here three days ago of recent split with her boyfriend. Ten minutes later the yellow and green clothes were done, each batch was folded before the friends were done with their water and the doggies, Rocko and Mocha, left off steam on a patch of grass. Once Serenity and I hugged, she asked about delivering babies, and I cried as I told them about the beautiful one last night. I offered the boys cheesy eggs and toast, one piece topped with strawberry jam, the other with honey. Morgen had been gone since yesterday and didn’t have much appetite, except for smiles from Reney, which he tugged on some shorts and pleaded with her to give. Anything to improve his spirits and help him boat on the lake for an extra hour or two.

Love Your Space

I read the last pages of Husband's Secret before bed. It was too early to call Mom and talk about the lasting affect it would have on me. Instead, I opened the rice crispy treat, For excellent care, and held off sleep another 10 minutes. I caught the last speck of night from the sky and kept it.

Don't stop until you're proud

He hoisted his grey backpack over his broadening shoulders next to the house. Two brothers were in his face. He walked up behind me last night and he pleaded for me to fill up his gas tank and give him some money for food. “To go camping,” he replied. Then they were off. Senior in college, just like that.

I Feel The Whole Zoo When I Am With You

The zoo at twilight: giraffe, train ride, sea lions for hours through a picture window, faint blush of sunset, lion stroll, bird show for everyone from work, white polar bear watching from the hill, crickets sing in tall grass, para-glider circling to land, north star hundreds of light-years away.

Let Summer Linger

With the hot sun overhead, they landed tail whips in the drive. I sat in the lawn chair ten minutes before retreating to the shaded steps. Sushi and edamame dinner. They slurped and twisted the beans until all the salt was off. We hopped in the car afterward for a trip to Walmart for school supplies before I headed to work.

Crash Into Me

I kept thinking that beautiful is something I needed to be. But... not now. I'd rather be...angry, intelligent, witty, klutzy (call me Crash any day), be interesting, or funny, and adventurous, crazy, or talented - there are an infinitesimal of other things to be other than beautiful. And what is beautiful anyway?? I'll make my own definition of amazing, always. That is so much more important to me than beautiful, ever. 

It's A Better Place

Golden and Bright Again

Take the moment, and make it perfect.

The wild boys were back. They tussled and tore through the house. One slept the other didn’t. When the little one woke, I made cinnamon rolls, peaches and milk for breakfast, which they happily ate up before sprinting off for school. When they both were in their schools, I turned the corner and recertified for my CPR while the mannequin sat in the corner.

BTS Feast

I made a feast of salmon

Markus was not excited about the {Back-to-school} part of the feast and decided to cover up the sign...

Also on the menu: Caesar with fresh parmesan salad
Corn on the cob [no one needed it cut off!]
Fresh raspberries
angel hair pasta with alfredo sauce
and locally grown tomatoes

This year, I still decided to use my best china for the occasion.

Ben came over for their back-to-school father blessing's and Morgen said he preferred a parking pass instead.  That is because he decided not to live in the dorms for his senior year and save the $6k in student loans. 

Wise choice. 

The night was complete after we all indulged in a triple chocolate brownie with vanilla bean ice cream Max mixed up for us. Yes and YUM!

To see previous back to school's

2008

2009

2010

2011

2012

2013

2014

2015

Beauty on the horizon

I bit into the first peach of summer, full of juice and sass. One boy was feeling bitter about going back to school while the other two were just fine. Might as well hit the mall, we agreed. Tilly's for shorts and shirts, Pac-Sun for jackets and hot pants, Zumiez for backpacks. The boys ran out with their friends as soon as we hit the driveway. I cracked open a water bottle and hoped it would be a good night at work.

Summer Stamped on Our Hearts

He rode a purple slide and Marko a green from the top of seven flights of stairs then we stopped for slurpees in his mouth before leaving for the football game at school.

There's no wifi on a horse. But you'll find a better connection.

The rain came a day late. I was in the middle of writing about our horse back riding, a place I’d been once as a little girl, when Marko ran in, “Mom Mom Mom.” He waved the trail map at me insisting I pay attention. So many of our conversations stemmed from intuited gestures, the space between knowing and articulation. I forgot what I wanted to write. Something about how we ended up in hockey quite by accident; a cut from tryouts on a soccer team when the sky drew scarlet ribbons into dawn.

Grom

Wednesday: crepes, Nutella, raspberries, laundry, went to a matinee, Jason Bourne, cafe rio, Olympic badminton, babies, all night, Preeclampsia.

Heart full of moonlight ... soul full of stars

Half day of skate park, hot as Haiti, short walk. We watered the flowers, he cooled off then we drove to the laser tag and down the hill and over to the hockey center and round again. The other two practiced their shots and hit pucks off the slick.

Hold on tight

On the way to the barn, I received a call. On the way home I returned it. “Did Bucky go to Canada?” “No he's right here with me. Do you want to talk to him?” He sat across the porch phone in hand like a snap chatter on a seven day streak. “Yes, please.” Until recently, I thought he was uninterested in playing in state.

everything's better around the campfire

Sunday: yogurt, work, third day in a row, DAS music played by Morgen from the concert, sweated in deliveries most of the day baby boys and girls, sprayed with blood then meconium, more babies to join Marilee's birthday (good day to be born), watermelon, birthday pie, peaches.

the secret ingredient is always love

On the way home from Red Rock, I remembered something she said. We were deep into a conversation about grieving. “She's still trying to process my dad dying, and now her sister died.” “I'm so sorry” She sat next to me arms hugging each other like a child on a ferris wheel. “Yes, I'm sorry to make you cry.” Until recently, I thought we weren't allowed to.

Saltair

The boys and I snap chatted - they in the car - me from work after lunch. Chic-fil-a in St. George. He stuck his head out the window and waved and smiled at the passersby. Morgen asked me to drop him off by the Salt Lake on his way home from California. After I walked down to the lake where I photographed the water like an orange creamsicle.

Puck

Slept in, yoga, Silver Lake, hot hot heat, shower, thunder rolls, laundry, smoothie, hockey, out to give the cat food.

You Always Have What You Need

Around noon, I got a snapchat from Gavin's mom, Michelle. She filled my screen with photos, smiles, and Markus in Disneyland, haunted mansion, and parades. He munched on pretzels and turkey legs while I tried to see every snap she posted to her story. Back home, I had more fruit water from Swig because it was Wednesday and we all need more water.

3 Olympics Ago

2002

When the sun went down, I ran to the TV for swimming, 22 medals, anthems, and flags. I have missed the Olympics and went straight to the scrapbook to remember when they were here.

I Am Confident

While the baby's heart rate displayed on the monitor I posted photos of riding my bike.

Going For Gold

They both ran ahead, me, too. We stopped by the Homestead, where my parents let loose, one on his crutch the other in a three legged race. Five hours later, we left. Our best trip ever.

I'm here, are you??

After they left for California yesterday and the suitcases were loaded in the back of Ben's car, I cleaned the whole house from top to bottom including sheets and towels without any protest.

Dear Morgen

{I want to tell you a secret}

I know it’s your finals week and you probably don't like that. But (I’m so sorry to admit this) I really kind of love it. I love that you get your computer out after class everyday so you can study for the next group project. I love the time we get together and the opportunity we have to grab lunch and just talk without anyone else around.

I want you to know how I feel and remember these words, because they will always be current and never changing. You are the greatest thing that ever happened to me. 

Anyway, I AM going to take this opportunity to ‘Carpe Diem’ and stop what I’m doing to appreciate you on your 21st birthday.

21 Reasons I Love My Son … on his 21st Birthday

1. I'd rather see your smile than anything else.
2. When other people really need your help, you give it … without having to be asked.
3. You're close with your brothers. They love you more than you will ever know.
4. You’re neat. Don’t think that inherited trait isn’t appreciated by me.
5. You’re a great student especially now that you're in college.
6. You have an artistic ability that I admire.
7. You’re curious. And you have been for as long as I can remember. You want to know why things happen, why they don’t or sometimes just why.
8. People naturally like you. I’ve heard it all my life. My parents roll their eyes when I talk about problems involving you as if to say, “Morgen??? Please.”
9. You repeatedly put up with my requests to help pick out a Halloween pumpkin, Christmas shop and watch movies with Marko and me.
10. There's nothing that I'd rather hear than your laughter.
11. You really talk to me, your dad, your brothers, your grandparents, etc. Never stop doing that, please.
12. You remember things. Sure, this might not always be in my favor. But, ultimately, it’s what earned you one of your earliest nicknames (Marlin) and it lets me know you’re paying attention.
13. You like cooking and preparing food. I like it because it’s something we can do together.
14. You’re polite. Which makes me feel like I’m doing something right. Even though we both know I probably had nothing to do with it.
15. You’re a constant reminder to me that I need to slow down. 
16. You possess a strong need to be a leader, often taking the initiative to lead, not only our home but others, to guide your group or to decide what was going to be played with your friends. You could lead your generation to living with purpose. 
17. It didn’t take me long to see that you influenced the atmosphere of our home. A bad day could be good, quickly. You could bring music into our home with one melody. You could influence your brothers to do anything you desired to do with you. You can encourage and motivate anyone needing a little encouragement or direction.
18. Even when the things you did were wrong, you still stood strong in your belief that you could convince me otherwise. There is a field between right doings and wrong doings - I'll meet you there. - Rumi
19. Relationships have always been so important to you and you're very loyal to the people in your life, even if these people weren’t the best influence on your young heart. You are the best kind of friend and there even when you're studying for finals on your bed with your friends by your side. 
20. It doesn’t matter what the situation is or who is involved, you have been very passionate from the beginning of your life. You would sing loudly, play hard, study deeply, research more to learn about your interest, even if said research was to convince me to let you quit playing an instrument, be there first if I was hurt or needing help. Basically unstoppable to becoming the best you could be.
21. From the moment you first laid in my arms, you melted right into my heart. 

After 21 years, I'm proud of the man you have become, and no matter what happens, I have confidence in your ability to make choices. I love you.  - Mom

21

Twenty-First Birthday

🎈MORGEN 🎈 

{He loves} talking 🎉his brothers 🎁 school time chilling with his friends eating HOME smiling & reading 

{He can} drive 🚙 work💰study drink & party do his own laundry get straight A's long board high five light up a room with his smile 

{fav. foods} Laura's special (Morelia's) pasta steak ramen noodles 

{fav. apps} facebook snapchat wow 

***

128 and a half

pounds

&

71

inches

and three quarters

***

Born

August 5th, 1995

He was 6LBS 11OZ

& 191/2 INCHES LONG

WHITNEY BREE

{How did you get to be 15??! }

Water, blueberry pancakes, bags of marshmallows, The Cupcakes, Connor on Markus “I knew you were my favorite cousin, that would sleep over on the trampoline. This is my first sleepover with a grown up. Markus isn't a grown up, I mean, he just is big like one,” then he's saying what Markus smells like, “You smell like happiness.”