When I was expecting Max I hoped he would have so many characteristics. I saved the list I wrote in his baby book and it begins: He’d have a good heart, would never give up, would be funny, honest, and athletic, forgiving, musical, and that once, he’d score the game winning goal.
He has a sweet heart and has found a sweet girl to share it with, Kyla. They went with a whole group of friends to see the lights at Temple Square last night and then came back to our house after for hot chocolate and watched a movie until way too late! :) As a result he woke up late for his hockey game this morning.
He has a persistence in whatever he sets his mind to, and I love his witty sense of humor. He's obviously athletic and would play every sport if I had time to take him. He's forgiven me for so many of the mistakes I've made in being his mom and if I could change some things I would make different mistakes.
He had a drum solo in the band concert at school on Tuesday night and I could see the smile on his face while he was playing.
He had the game winning assist today.
So Max when that little voice says, “You might as well give up,” Remember all the times I believed, encouraged, supported, and all the times I rose to my feet and cheered with tears in my eyes so you could overcome all the trials that have come your way. When that little voice says, “No one needs you,” remember this: Someone does.
Someone counts on me to be there when he wakes up,
When he goes to sleep,
When he is scared,
When he is happy,
When he is sad.
My boys can count on me to be there.
Not perfect.
Not yell-free.
Not toned, fit, and styled.
To be there.
Not always calm.
Not always smiling.
Not always pretty.
Trying and sometimes failing, but getting back up and trying again, hoping to do a little better than the day before. I round up all the strength I have in my weary soul and say these three words loud and clear, at least once a day:
I am here.
Someone is counting on me to be here, and I am.
I am.
And today, that is enough.
