Grizz are state champs!

Wonderful Things

*daydreams*

*books*

*hockey*

*hot chocolate*

*blankets*

*starry skies*

Whole Heart

YOU HAVE MY WHOLE HEART FOR MY WHOLE LIFE

Aria Shines

I'm crazier than you.

Meet the parents. 

I wouldn't say The moon and I are dating, but...

That's Pugsley not "The Pugster."

"Mmmmmmmnnnnnnnh"

East High presented the premiere of the new musical - The Addam's Family and Max came with me to see my niece Aria star as Wedenesday. To say that she shines is an understatement. I loved watching her sparkle. 

Mickey Without Minnie

Max sent this text to Markus in Las Vegas on his birthday:

I love that they are best buddies. And that Tigger will NEVER stop bouncing. :) 

{Photos: Disneyland 2014}

Find Your Happy

http://youtu.be/RDRZMX_fDfM

Maybe I Can Do This

Last day of Medical-Surgical 2 clinicals today...

10/10 on my quiz this week in Community Health Nursing

97% on Med Surg 2 exam

And a 95% on Pharmacology 2 math test...

Maybe I can do this.  

We Are What We Repeatedly Do

{Bucky taking a shot at Friday night's game}

I can not remember seeing Max this excited about something in his whole life. He has repeatedly worked hard this entire season. He has been to every practice. He explodes out of the locker room for dry-land. He studies nutrition information while eating his snacks. He keeps track of how much weight he is lifting at the weight sessions. He looks over the mental training guidelines while he is doing his homework. He reads over the play book Coach Oly gave him before every game. He loves to be the first one on the ice, and the last one off after picking up the pucks. Oly, sent me this text:

I love Bucky's work ethic and passion for the game. In fact, for the record, he is the most improved player on the team so far this year. Thank you Mama Bucky.

Max had two games this weekend to get him qualified for Tier II state playoffs, nearly forgetting it was a holiday - but not quite. When he played in Friday night's game, he was on the ice more than usual due to the high number of penalties on the member's of his team. Sixteen total, three players suspended from Saturday's game and Coach Oly, since Coaches are suspended when their team has more than fifteen penalties I guess. When he told me about Saturday's game(since I had to work) the oddest thought came to my head. 

"I want to get excited about hockey."

I went up to his bedroom where he was supposed to be doing an assignment for school. Instead he was looking at the newest copy of USA Hockey magazine. He had the neck of the bendable light shining directly down on his magazine. He was reading each article like a true scientist. 

"Do you think this stick would make my shot better?" he posed with a giggle. I could tell it was a trick question, so I played along. 

"It sure looks like it would to me," I replied. 

"Nope! It's not the stick that makes a better shot. It's the number of times you shoot it." Max then proceeded to tell me how he is going to take a few shots before his practice tomorrow to see how many he can get in before.

As he described how he wants to work harder, a thought I'd never had in my life came to me. "I want to get excited about shots."

First it was hockey then it was shots. I had no idea where this was coming from. 

Then, yesterday morning, Max bounded down the stairs fully dressed and ready for breakfast. He was holding the USA Hockey magazine in one hand and his newly taped stick in the other. It was 8:35 a.m. and he was smiling the way people do when they are about to leave on a plane for Hawaii. I found his early Sunday morning cheerfulness a little irritating. 

There I stood in my mismatched pajamas and blue fuzzy slippers holding a plate of eggs made scrambled, the way I always make them thinking, "I want to get excited about mornings too."

It is kind of painful to admit, but I can't remember the last time I felt excited...like jump-and-down excited...or grinning-from-ear-to-ear excited. Truthfully, I was in a mood. My heart felt like it was only half beating. My view of the world looked grey. I needed something but what...medication? Meditation? Vacation? I knew what was wrong with me. I was missing Markus on his birthday. 

All day I thought about my son, my missing his birthday, my going-through-the-motions of buying and wrapping his present existence. I'd just completed a 12-day Choose Love Challenge. I'd promised to choose love as my response to loneliness, frustration, and sadness, but suddenly I also wanted to choose to love LIFE more. I wanted to get excited about everyday blessings the way my 15-year-old son did. But maybe this is just what happens when you get older and you are missing someone. Maybe my boys can only get excited about hockey and shooting and practicing. I had no answers, I did feel slightly more alive because I was asking questions...even ones that hurt. 

Max got finished with practice by noon with sweat joyfully dripping from his hair. By the look on his face, it was Christmas in February. He informed me that he had won the shootout and had to practice more shooting as soon as he got home. 

I sat in the driveway bundled up from head to toe while my coat-less son demonstrated several variations of hockey shots despite the bitter wind. I couldn't help but notice the way his grin grew with every shot. As Max got into a rhythm, the pucks literally came to life. 


Between the sunshine, his smile and the movement of the wind, I felt a little better. I felt a little pulse coming back to my lifeless veins. 

A few hours later I logged on to watch Markus' final game from Vegas online. I thought about not watching it and studying instead. I was tired and just wanted to go to bed. But those pucks flying in the driveway seemed to call me. 

After agreeing to the terms and conditions and paying the $10.00 fee, my son's game promptly filled the computer screen. It was a little jumpy due to my ancient computer but Markus still looked to me as if he was flying across the ice. When the game versus the LA Jr. Kings was tied 1-1 and he scored the game winning goal it was like lotion on my thirsty winter skin. 

I hadn't expected him to be so good at hockey. I hadn't expected it to feel this good to see his face. Between his little smile, the tranquility of the sound of his skates on the ice, and our loving connection when he pointed to the camera and did a fist pump, I felt a little better. I ran upstairs to text Max as he had gone out with some friends. 

This afternoon was Max's extra team practice for President's day. He'd just finished up on the ice when he asked me if I wanted to stop for fish tacos at Lone Star. I really wanted to get home. I needed to save money. But the smile - the smile got me again. He seemed to whisper, "Say yes." 

Just because I am an adult does not mean that I must live a life void of excitement, passion and joy. I can:

• Take a different route home
• Accept a challenge
• Learn something new
• Say yes more often than no
• Surround my self with lovers of life
• Stop expecting - and instead
• Be open to the unexpected

Every time I feel the need to be excited more than I do I am going to say something I thought I would never say:

I am excited about fuzzy slippers. 

I am excited about snowflakes. 

I am excited about bubble baths, 

and balloons with curly, blue ribbons.

I am excited about crunchy sweet apples from Trader Joe's in the dead of winter. 

I am excited about this beautiful day in front of me just waiting to be lived. 

We are what we repeatedly do.

I am excited.

Guess How Much I Love You?

I adore your smile

I cherish your hugs

I admire your heart

I love you to the moon and back 

Most of all I love that you're my son

Happy 12th Birthday Markesian

P. S. I loved watching you play tonight online. Score the game winning goal on your birthday?! Yes!!! :)

My Valentine

{This pic of Markus was taken last month at the Grizz Cup}

My valentine is in Vegas

*****************************************************************

On another note, my friend Laurie's husband sent this out with his reminder about the 6th Annual Love Olympics held last night. It made me laugh. XO

I Bet My Life

Rant about the unending brief changes or love? I choose love. 
Briefs can be cleaned up; broken hearts are harder to mend.

Sixth Grade Sock Hop

Post a picture of this moment to Instagram or love?I choose love.I will remember it more vividly if I capture this moment solely with my eyes.

Guess Who's Moving To The U?

Berate myself for messing up or love?
I choose love.
Accepting my humanness offers my precious sons the freedom to be human too.

I Love My Sister

Today I will choose love. Tomorrow I will choose love. And the day after that, I will choose love. If I mistakenly choose distraction, perfection, or negativity over love, I will not wallow in regret. I will choose love next. I will choose love until it becomes my first response … my gut instinct … my natural reaction. I will choose love until it becomes who I am.

Friends Are Worth Way More Than Money

{A real friend is like winning the lottery. There is no risk when it comes to a good friend, you always win.} 

I know the saying, “money can’t buy happiness,” what I know is that friendship can. Yep, our happiness is dependent on your social standing more than your economic one. While poverty is a state, but feeling poor is a state of mind. You are only as poor as you feel (when the hunger pains stop) and just because you have money doesn’t mean you will always feel rich. Because it’s not the lack of money that makes us feel poor, but the lack of social interactions. I just picked Morgen up from his Digital Media class that he is taking, and he was telling me how our friendships are worth something. “Putting a Price Tag on Friends, Relatives, and Neighbors,” he told me, discusses the monetary values we put on social interactions.

I guess, through statistical analysis, economists developed a way to assess the worth of social interactions by taking random samples of people’s satisfaction levels over different points in their lives. This gave them shadow prices they then placed on the worth of relationships. According to the results, the value of friendship makes us happier than a $133,000 pay raise.

Because money gets old. Or maybe I forget what it was like before having that money. But I never forget what it’s like to have friends. I feel the cold emptiness of lost friendships much more than lost paychecks. Not having someone to call hurts more than not having a few extra thousand in the bank.

So when I'm worried that I'm not making enough money to make me happy, I look at friendships not my salary, because choosing to spend more time with friends brings me more joy than working all those extra hours for a pay raise.

That, and it’s my friends that make me feel rich, not all the money I'm making without them.

{Wasting time with friends is always going to trump wasting money}

{Saving a friend is a lot more fun than saving money}

{While money can bring a lot of things, it can't bring a sense of humor}

{Having a small house full of friends is more fun than a large house full of money}

How much is a friendship worth? How much would you pay for a good one?

Grudges Be Gone

Hold a grudge or love? I choose love. Let resentment be someone else’s life-long companion.

Love and Sunshine

Just show up to love today.

Don’t worry about what you look like or what yesterday looked like.

Just show up to love.

Something tells me you’ll walk away a little better than when you arrived.

More Math Problems

Tackle an extra hour of homework or love?I choose love.I will be more productive after taking a much needed break.

Practice Math Questions: 2250

1. 1000 mL D5LR to infuse in 8 hr.  The administration set is 20 gtt/mL.  Calculate the I.V. flow rate in gtt/min.

2. 300 mL NS to infuse in 6 hr.  The administration set is 60 gtt/mL.  Calculate the I.V. flow rate in gtt/min.

3. 1,500 mL NS to infuse in 12 hr.  The administration set is 10 gtt/mL.  Calculate the I.V. flow rate in gtt/min.

4. A unit of whole blood (500mL) to infuse in 4 hr.  The administration set is 10 gtt/mL.  Calculate the I.V. flow rate in gtt/min.

5. Doctor’s order:  Administer 1000 Unit heparin I.V. every hour.  Solution available is 25,000 Units of heparin in 1 L of NS.  The administration set delivers 15 gtt/mL.  

6. Doctor’s order:  Add 20,000 Units heparin to 500 mLD5W to infuse at 12 mL/hr.  Calculate the hourly heparin dose.

7. A client is receiving an I.V. of 1000 mL D5W with 20,000 Unit heparin infusing at 24 gtt/min.  The administration set delivers 10 gtt/mL.  Calculate the hourly dose of heparin.

8. A client weighing 50 kg. has a Dobutrex solution of 250 mg. in 500 mL ordered at 5 mcg/kg/min.  Determine the setting for a volumetric pump.

9. A nitroglycerine drip is infusing at 3 mL/hr.  The available solution is 50 mg. in 250 mL D5W.  Calculate the mcg/min.

10. Aminophylline 0.25 g is added to 500 mL D5W to infuse in 8 hrs.  Calculate the mg/hr.

11. A lidocaine drip is infusing at 22 mL/hr.  The solution available is 2 g lidocaine in 250 mL D5W.  Calculate the mg/hr.

12. Norepinephrine (Levophed) 2 mcg/min has been ordered to maintain a client’s systolic blood pressure at 100.  The solution is 2 mg in 500 mL D5W.  Determine the flow rate for a volumetric pump.

13. A client with chest pain has an order for nitroglycerine 10 mcg/min.  Solution available is 50 mg nitroglycerine in 250 mL D5W.  Calculate the I.V. rate in gtt/min using a microdrip administration set.

14. Doctor’s order:  2 mcg/kg/min of Nipride.  Solution available:  50 mg Nipride in 250 mL D5W.  Client’s weight is 120 lb.  Calculate the dose per minute.

15. Doctor’s order: 3 g/hr of magnesium sulfate.  Available:  25 g of 50% magnesium sulfate in 300 mLD5W.  How many mL/hr would be needed to administer the required dose?

16. Doctor’s order:  Infuse 200 mcg/min of dopamine I.V.  The solution available is 400 mg dopamine in 500 mL NS.  A volumetric pump is being used.

Answers: 

1.  42 gtt/min

2.  50 gtt/min

3. 21 gtt/min

4. 21 gtt/min

5. 10 gtt/min

6. 480 units/hr

7. 2880 units/hr

8. 30 ml/h

9. 10 mcg/min

10. 31.24 mg/h

11. 176 mg/hr

12. 30 mL/h

13. 3 gtt/min

14. 0.5 mL/min

15. 36 mL/h

16. 15 mL/h

Last Showcase

Complain about the way he's studying or love? I choose love. I will encourage him to shine his unique light and be himself by loving him “as is.”

I Love Taking This Journey With You

Morgen saved up his money from working at Papa Murphy's and bought a new car. He let me listen to his subs tonight. 

Say ‘I can’t listen right now’ or love?I choose love.Seeing him smile as he cranked up the volume fills me with a sense of peace I can’t find anywhere else.

As with any journey...

Who you travel with can be more important than your destination.