Season's Greetings -YIKES!

Every year about this time I feel the pressure build. What am I going to do for Christmas?

There are a lot of styles of family Christmases. One of them is drawing names. But this year I decided that I want to opt out of that. At least for all the cousins on both sides. I feel that I may be on the "naughty" list for doing so, however and that has left me quaking in my humble elfin boots.

Big, Fluffy, White Stuff

Good thing that the blizzard hit last week, so that we could just have a normal, good old fashioned snow storm yesterday. I am dreaming of a White Christmas, how about you?

We are the Champions...

my friend.

First game this morning was intense, ending in a win in overtime, but not as intense as the drive to get there. The next game this afternoon was for the championship. Coach Volker let Max bring the banner home and he has it proudly displayed in the entry way.

Making Friends

Today I spent the day traipsing from one side of the mall to the other. My long-time friend is in town, I had the day off of work; her mom was also here for the day, it was the last day of the long weekend so we decided to make a day of it. We explored a new store, visited a fancy boutique where we tried on shoes after enjoying lunch at our favorite Cheesecake Factory. (Bonus that we split three things on the menu for less than $15.)


We ended the day picking up their new purchases from J. Crew. There’s always something cute at J. Crew. This experience got me thinking, as my time with friends often does. I’d spent the day sharing time, good food, and conversation with a friend I’ve known since I was twelve. She took a long drive to come and spend time with me. And at the end of the day I picked up one son from his friend's house when I took his brother home from our house where he was watching the game with another son. Max's friend came over after the third game of the tournament today (which by the way was a close one, Lightning still won 1-0. Since the playoffs are tomorrow and our team is ranked #2 after the first three games we will be playing the #3 team tomorrow to decide who goes on to the championship game).


I don’t know how philosophical I can wax here, but doesn’t there seem to be a cosmic connection? Isn’t it cool that people out there want to make connections? Meet new people? Be friends? Hang out? I like it! We need friends; we want to be connected; it’s not really that hard to do and yet it takes some doing.

How have you made your closest friends? How do you keep those friendships thriving? How do you meet new people?

Shoot-out

6 a.m.

8:15 a.m.

The Lightning Team

Thanksgiving Shoot-out Tournament started today

Win vs. The Wildcats 5-1

1:30 p.m.

3:00 p.m.

Loss vs. The Regulators 3-1

More tomorrow...stay tuned. :)

And That Was Thanksgiving 2010

It's over.



The whole shebang...


the weeks of planning,


the hours of shopping,


and cooking...


Over.






Thanksgiving needs to be like Target


during the holidays


and have Extended Hours,


right?






We had a humongous 23 pound bird


and she was delicious!


We had all the fixing's to go with,


and pie afterwards!








Thanksgiving Day was super cold,


I think the High temp got up to 0,


so we decided to go snowboarding.

Fresh powder and no lines.






Time to put away the Fall accessories



and bring out the Christmas stuff!


That's a mood lifter, for sure.


Markus is really good at putting up the tree.






Happy Weekend.


December's almost here.

Happy Thanksgiving

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice.”

-Meister Eckhart

To judge...

or be judged.


I remind myself today that
We are all fighting a hard fight.

About others, we do not know the whole story.
Others do not know the story of our struggles.
A good friend told me that she tries to keep this thought in mind:

Treat everyone as if their heart is breaking.
(in most cases you are probably right)

so here’s to refraining from judgment
and remembering that when others judge us,
they can’t see the whole picture.

Parenting: So Far

A few months ago a friend of mine with her husband became custodial parents of a three day old baby boy after his birth mother decided she no longer wanted him. Her baby shower was last week for little Joey.

 Kids aren’t notches in our belts. Not adopted ones, and not the ones we bear. They come with their own personalities, likes and dislikes. They aren’t Play-Doh, we don’t mold them like we think we do. They aren’t computer programs, into which data is entered with an expected predictable result. That isn’t to say parents don’t make a difference. Certainly we do. Parents are (arguably) the biggest factor in a child’s development.

As some parents have learned, you aren’t going to change the essence of who s/he is. Don’t try to make the situation different than it is. It’s OK for it to be different. Expecting anything else puts an undue burden on the child s/he can’t possibly live up to.

Joey's new mom told me that many hopeful adopting parents often don’t want to adopt within the US foster care system because they see noticeable psychological burdens on the children who bear them. But somehow lost in the idealism and optimism of parenthood is the reality that most likely, children adopted abroad also come with some psychological and/or physical obstacles. Most often children from Eastern European and other orphanages are there because they were removed by the state from custody of their own parents who neglected them, beat them, sexually abused them, and were alcoholics and drug addicts–the very same reasons kids are in foster care in the US.

I’ve seen close up the realities of orphans’ lives. I’ve also seen up close how adoptions can end pretty close to happily-ever-after. And most commonly I’ve seen families who walk the middle ground, where an adopted child was not quite what was expected, instead struggling with pervasive developmental disorders. But a family loved him and made untidy peace in the end.

I see families that create families from their own genetic pool, experiencing unexpected birth outcomes and are left with the prospect of life-long care for a disabled child. I see parents that question their abilities and doubt their strengths, crushed helpless under their failures as a child struggles. I watched as my own mother and father gave all they had to seven kids, one who ran away but came back, 5 who graduated from high school, but 2 who graduated from college, many who were inactive but 4 who were sealed in the temple. They taught me by example that as parents we are the father in the parable of the prodigal son, unsure of the outcome the morning after the feast, but ready to give all for the child who has been lost.

Life has taught me that when it comes to parenting it is not our job to save our children. It is our job to show them where salvation lay, regardless of whether or not our ideal of a family unit is rejected by them. We give them our best, because in the end what every child needs is what we need. What every child wants is what we want, someone to love them unconditionally–someone who will be there with outstretched arms to gather us in.

Time has Flown

Monet on her 43rd birthday

L to r: Sara, Monet, Aria, Markus, Max & Morgen



She celebrated her birthday at Trio

 My sister Monet was in great spirits tonight. Even though she has had a rough year, she has a positive outlook on the new one ahead. She posted this on her facebook page today:

How did it get so late so soon? It's night before it's afternoon. December is here before it's June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon? ~ Dr. Seuss

Snow

Molly loves the stuff

Max and Marko had more fun playing in the snow today. The tunnel that they built wasn't quite big enough for the both of them, but they didn't seem to mind.

Do you believe in magic?

I do.

At least the kind that involves snow! What is it about the first big snowfall of the season that is so magical? Max ran right out to play in it as soon as we came home from seeing H.P VII part 1. Even though it is a movie about magic, the real magic tonight was playing in the snow.

Max + snow = snowman

Scout



Max received his 'scout' rank advancement



 at last night's court of honor



11 year old scout leaders: John and Dustin with Max

We went out to celebrate Ben's birthday tonight at Bonsai after both Markus and Max's hockey practices. But I forgot my camera. So no photo, sorry.

Smooth(ie) Operator

I’ve entered the meal prep funk phase of my life. There are periods of time when I feel unmotivated to plan, shop or prepare for meals. These, like the seasons, eventually pass and I find myself inspired by others’ fresh ideas and motivated by the excitement my family generates when they realize good food is in the cards again. Lately, though, I’m completely uninterested in domestic duties. I have no urge to shop. The next season is dangerously far away for continuing to procrastinate the meal thing. As a result, food storage is dwindling. The pantry has gone neglected. Every meal is a foraging expedition; a quest to balance the food groups. Take breakfast, for example; sleepy faces emerge from their beds each morning, with one common goal: something to eat that tastes good. It seems a reasonable expectation. When I point my finger at the cereal shelf, somehow I feel caught off guard as I see we’re fresh out. Toast? No bread.

Yesterday morning I thought of something good. There was frozen fruit in the freezer. We still had enough yogurt in the fridge. Fruit smoothies! I had visions of children falling at my feet. The nutrition pyramid police would applaud the calcium and protein that would soon be nourishing three young and developing bodies. I dumped a baggie of frozen strawberries into the blender. Spoonfuls of yogurt followed, and then I grabbed a frozen banana from the freezer. I even thought about putting some spinach in with the other ingredients. My thoughts turned to my friend Heidi, who hosted girl night at her house last week. She made several different kinds of smoothies all with her newly purchased juicer/blender/smoothie maker thing. They were all delicious, some with spinach, others with avocado in them. Besides having a knack for all things culinary, she is a natural born comedian, I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. It’s an amazing rush of pleasure to have a friend like that as my own. I realize that I could enjoy the many joys of motherhood in this same way. Tears from laughter feel so good.

Loony

I love being a mother.



I love playing tag in the back yard.
I love reading together in bed.
I love making lego creations.
I love hearing the kids roar into the house after school.
I love singing and dancing in the family room.
I love sitting on the bed talking with one of my boys.
I love listening to my seven year old belly laugh.

There are just so many things that I love about this time of my life.

So why is it that I found myself yesterday hiding in the basement writing on here? Why was I so excited to escape to my Primary meeting last week? Why do I collapse into bed every night and listen so happily to the silence?

I am a flesh of contradiction. I eschew what I love. I revel in the solitude I used to lament. I hide chocolate around the house for an emergency.

Madness, I tell ya’. Madness.

Today's a New Day

Today I sat in the dentist chair with the drill humming in the background and I made a resolve NEVER to eat sugar again. I didn't have any cavities, and my dentist gave me a perfect score. And I promised I would keep flossing everyday. I swear I’m vigilant with my kids’ teeth so that they don’t have to endure agony in the chair. I carried home extra toothbrushes and packs of mini floss to put in the basket for house guests. I tell my boys that it’s hard enough to stay on top of regular bills, without adding the dentist’s car payment to the list.

It’s not the first time I’ve made these promises. And they happen elsewhere, too. When I face the doctor at my physical, I promise myself that I will be better at performing my monthly S.B.E. As I reflect on the pattern of promises in my life, I need to know where to file them. Under what category do these resolutions fall? I don’t remember a commandment about brushing and flossing. I suppose that having stewardship for our bodies means taking care of our teeth. I’m grateful for my teeth. And second chances. And time to reflect, and learn from the past. So today, I choose to be thankful for the chance to improve. And for repentance. And for my dentist. And I promise not to kick myself when I’m down. Because the realist in me knows that the sugar thing probably won’t last much past the pie on the thanksgiving table in a little over a week.

What promises have escaped your lips? Are you as familiar with your dentist as I am with mine? What are you grateful for today?

Overnighter

The weekend wouldn't be complete without a game for Max and a sleepover.

Max skated like he was melting the ice at his game on Saturday, and led his team to a victory over the Falcons, scoring both goals.

Final: 2-1

Then his friend Killian came over to spend the night after the game. They ate pizza and played shinny hockey in the living room.

Morgen was at classic skating with his friends, Austin, Brittni and Miranda. He invited them over to hang out afterwords and then after the girls went home Austin stayed to spend the night as well.



Autumn Leaves

Some of the leaves have finally fallen off of the trees in our yard so the boys had a great time jumping into the piles of them yesterday.

First they made a maze through them

Then raced around it

to see who could jump into the pile first!

Rink Rats

 

 

Markus' Falcons team won both of their games today against the Bears. Last time I asked Max, the score that he was keeping track of was 12-0, but I think he stopped keeping track after that. Markus loves playing defense but still scored 2 goals and had a couple of assists. After the game he had his friend Sam come over to play at our house and we went back to the rink later for me to teach 2 lessons and they came to skate with me. They played tag the whole time with Max.

New Friends

I love making new friends. And thanks to Sock and Glove, I can make a new friend every day!

Easy to make...easy to love!

Sock and Glove presents thirteen delightful softy projects that are quick to make-and certain to amuse and delight. Full of individuality and mischief, these stuffed creations are all pieced together from ordinary socks, gloves, and mittens. Step-by-step illustrations and instructions make it easy to craft and dress a whole menagerie, including monkeys, elephants, piglets, bunnies, and even an insouciant fish.

Kelli made a darling kitten at girl night last night and Laurie cut out the pattern for the sock monkey I made for Markus today (pictured above). She also started and finished a sock monkey for her collection she is making for her son Ryan. Laurie just returned from a trip to New York with her 12 year old daughter and while she was there, she saw her sister in law's collection of sock monkeys that she had made while going through her divorce. She bought the Sock and Glove friends book and made one just about everyday for her friends that were having children.






Endearing to adults and children alike, these whimsical creatures make perfect gifts and inspiring companions.

When we are writing, or painting, or composing, we are, during the time of creativity, freed from normal restrictions, and are opened to a wider world, where colors are brighter, sounds clearer and people are more wondrously complex than we normally realize. - Madeleine L'Engle

I AM THANKFUL:

FOR THE TEENAGER


WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES


BECAUSE IT MEANS HE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.






FOR THE TAXES I PAY


BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED.






FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY


BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.






FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG


BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.






FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK


BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE






FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,


WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,


AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING


BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.






FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING


I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT


BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.






FOR THE PARKING SPOT


I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT


BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING


AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.






FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL


BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.






FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY


BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.






FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING


BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.






FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY


BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.






FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS


BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.






AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MANY E-MAILS


BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

(My friend Kathy sent this to me today)

The Girl in a Whirl

by 'Dr. Sue' (a.k.a. Vickie Gunther)


Look at me, look at me, look at me now!
You could do what I do if you only knew how.

I study the scriptures one hour each day;
I bake, I upholster, I scrub, and I pray.
I always keep all the commandments completely;
I speak to my little ones gently and sweetly.

I help in their classrooms! I sew all they wear!
I drive them to practice! I cut all their hair!
I memorize names of the General Authorities;
I focus on things to be done by priorities.

I play the piano! I bless with my talents!
My toilets all sparkle! My checkbooks all balance!
Each week every child gets a one-on-one date;
I attend all my meetings (on time! Never late!)

I'm taking a class on the teachings of Paul,
But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all,
I track my bad habits 'til each is abolished;
Our t-shirts are ironed! My toenails are polished!

Our family home evenings are always delightful;
The lessons I give are both fun and insightful.
I do genealogy faithfully, too.
It's easy to do all the things that I do!

I rise each day early, refreshed and awake;
I know all the names of each youth in my stake!
I read to my children! I help all my neighbors!
I bless the community, too, with my labors.

I exercise and I cook menus gourmet;
My visiting teaching is done the first day!
(I also go do it for someone who missed hers.
It's the least I can do for my cherished ward sisters.)

I chart resolutions and check off each goal;
I seek each "lost lamb" on my Primary roll.
I can home-grown produce each summer and fall.

But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all,
I write in my journal! I sing in the choir!
Each day, I write "thank yous" to those I admire.

My sons were all Eagles when they were fourteen!
My kids get straight A's! And their bedrooms are clean!
I have a home business to help make some money;
I always look beautifully groomed for my honey.

I go to the temple at least once a week;
I change the car's tires! I fix the sink's leak!
I grind my own wheat and I bake all our bread;
I have all our meals planned out six months ahead.

I make sure I rotate our two-years' supply;
My shopping for Christmas is done by July!
These things are not hard; 'tis good if you do them;
You can if you try! Just set goals and pursue them!

It's easy to do all the things that I do!
If you plan and work smart, you can do them all, too!
"It's easy!" she said, and then...she dropped dead.

(Received in an email today...thought it was pretty funny!)

Life is a journey...

it certainly is a complicated, ongoing journey.

To make it really good, though, I NEED daily exercise and meditation (for me, yoga-like stretching and breathing), as well as close friends who I can talk really openly with. Really being listened to–by someone who clearly remembers who I really am, and isn’t distracted by whatever I might say, who loves me exactly as I am–is one of the best therapies around.

I also do much better when I’m realistic about what I can do in a given day, when I say “no” and don’t allow a day to become over scheduled, when I’m easy on myself about how much housework and cooking I’ll do. I do better when I set aside time every day, kind of like an appointment with myself, to do things I really enjoy, to rest and relax. (When was the last time you did that?)

Recently I’ve also been reading about noticing, and allowing myself to experience, emotions as they come. So instead of trying to talk myself out of being angry or afraid or sad, I let the feeling wash over me right when it comes (if I can). When I first read about this, I couldn’t imagine what it even meant. But with a little practice, I’m beginning to understand.

For example, a few weeks ago I felt a sudden rush of fear over something. I was in bed. Instead of deep breathing it away, or trying to ignore it, I paid attention to the feeling. I let it wash through me, carry me. It felt like the terror of falling, not fearing the crash at the end, but just falling forever without stopping. It was extremely frightening and overwhelming, almost more than I could take. But then it was over, and I could think clearly again. Turning my mind over to it, I found that, though the situation hadn’t changed and I still felt concerned, I wasn't afraid anymore.

Beginning to learn how to be present in my emotions–so that they don’t become bottled up, saved as future, ongoing anxiety and fear–has been a powerful tool for me. It doesn’t mean I have to do anything about it. I don’t have to DO anything but just notice the feeling and really feel it. This is very new for me–I’m still practicing.

(It occurs to me just now that giving my full attention to positive emotions, letting them wash over me in the same way, is also great.)

I have to give credit to the Lord throughout this journey. Most of these ideas came my way–whether through friends, books, or thoughts–as direct results of prayer. The Lord has been my companion, helping me know what to pray for, putting me in the path of just the right people or information as I need it and am ready for it. Prayer has truly lightened my burdens.

It’s been very slow and step-by-step, with lots of slipping backwards (and I’m sure there will be more of that to come), but I’m at a spot right now where I can look back and see how each piece of the healing puzzle fell into it’s place at just the right time. Writing on this blog has been one of the things that helped get me in that place where I can see more clearly.

Mom's Birthday

My mom turns 69 today and so we went to Little America for dinner last night to celebrate.