Home of The Brave

As I heard the national anthem being sung out loud, I couldn't contain the tears. Markus couldn’t wait to share his experiences—he wanted to say them right then and there. So we set aside the tour of camp for a moment and just listened to each other.

I was surprised that all the scouts in the camp wore their uniforms to participate in the parent night assembly. I was stunned by the heartfelt response that touched Markus to share his views, about choices made in life. It appeared that this particular scout award didn’t require deep thinking; the answers came easily to him he said. It also appeared that the Liahona award wasn't difficult; Anyone could complete it. In fact, there wasn’t a single boy in the troop who wasn’t motivated to finish one of these assignments and earn the award.

To Markus:

• I’ll never forget the long hug that you gave me tonight before I left camp. I would have missed the Garrison flag that you wanted a picture of your troop in front of and the unveiling of it perfectly timed to the music with the lights and the scouts silhouetted with their arms in the scout salute. You helped me to learn the meaning of living in the land of the free. 

• I appreciate how you took the time to show me where each of your merit badge stations were located and how excited you were to share your adventures at each one...how you enjoy life. How you remember people's names...how you see good in them...how you help me see the beauty in everything...how you help your friends and notice when they're sad and try to help...I appreciate how you use your God given gift to run to help your team take 2nd in the camp triathlon. 

• I’m sorry that sometimes I forget to have fun. You are so good to remind me that LIFE is about having fun!

• What I love most about you is your voice...your manners (you always say thank you)...the way you treat animals...the way you paint the beautiful things you see in nature...the way you sign up for things with so much certainty. 

• I have you to thank for having the best job in the world...being your mom. And for believing in me and my dream to be a nurse.   I have you to thank for inspiring me to do what I love. 

• Five words to describe you are: trustworthy, helpful, friendly, gregarious, and kind. 

• I wouldn’t be the same without your musical ability to remember all the words to songs, (especially the songs you've been singing at camp all week...threw him out the window, the window, the second story window) your personality, your curly hair, your love of life and especially your hugs. I love you. 

Once In A Blue Moon

Once in a blue moon you have the last day of nursing school! I received this email yesterday from my High Acuity professor. I took her final in the morning and got 100%. We took this photo after our last lab and just like that, we were done. I've been thinking about the journey throughout the day today at work and decided without a doubt it is definitely the hardest thing I have ever done - nursing school, working two jobs and doing the best I could at co-parenting my boys. The challenge made me stronger and for that I'm grateful. Now let's go celebrate?!  

I want to tell you how proud I am of each and every one of you. I am grateful and humbled to have had the opportunity to be part of your learning experience. I am honored to know such wonderful, decent, smart, funny, friendly, accepting, determined, and amazing people. Each of you worked beyond hard to achieve this day. Each of you juggled school, work, family, and all the other zillion obligations that demanded your attention everyday. I see you only for a short time once a week, but believe me I know that the work, studying, and effort went far beyond the walls of the school. You have the right to be proud, you should. You have the right to rest, screw off, eat, drink, sleep, cry, curse, and jump for joy- you should. You have the right to happy, have successful lives, you have the ability to write your own ticket.... you have earned it. Please know that you have also ruined my life as an instructor because you have set the bar so high, no other class will compare to all of you... so that makes me sad. I will think of you often , I am sending good thoughts, vibes, peace, and prayers your way. Thank you for making me want to be a better teacher, for making want to stay when all I wanted to do was run away. Thank you for teaching me some very important lessons. Because of all of you, I will continue to teach and hopefully inspire , but you guys made it so easy for me and Shane. We love you and are honored beyond words to share your pinning celebration with you, to bask in the glow of your happiness, and to have at least a couple of more times to smart off with you. Good luck and God speed to all of you, go nurse away.. keep your sense of humor it really is the most important skill you can have as a nurse. Continue being kind, sometimes its really hard. I am proud to now call you colleagues.. but more so to call you friends. Thank you all for the generous, thoughtful gift, and more so for the sweet, kind words, yes I got a little teared up. You all rock, love you like crazy, and will miss the monkey out of you. Sincerely, sincerely and with love, 

Karen

Honeymooners

Tanner and Berklee at their reception tonight...

All my sister Lara's children at the temple...

Garter belts and gelato and flowers and wedding cake!

It was the wedding of the season! So many people. I love weddings so much. And, of course, honeymoons are a blast.

I heard some friends from their mission (yes Tanner and Berklee met on their mission!) asking them where they were going on their honeymoon. Hopefully they will find something to do in St. Lucia tonight. ;)

Brighter Than The Sun

Anything Can Happen

Anything can happen in just one day. Babies are born in one day. A patient died at work on Saturday. We can change in one day. And we can fall in love in one day. My nephew Tanner will be getting married in just one day. I'm so so happy for him. Berklee is his sunshine when the skies are grey.  

Scout

He woke up at the crack of dawn to go to the church with me before he left for camp. Scout shirts, friends and mess kits sun on the mountain. He ate yogurt and toast on the back deck. We packed the truck and said goodbye, until next Saturday.

Bell Canyon

Sunday: church, hike, trail mix, Watch me whip on the radio, Markus back from the lake, sprayed with sunscreen and bug spray, AGT, more packing (scout camp tomorrow), shower, salmon, cherries.

Rockin' Rockport

I can't tell you how much I appreciate people who invite my boys to spend time with them. Again with friends from hockey, Markus seeing the world from a boat and tent.

Daughters of Utah Pioneers

At the tail end of our naps, I turned up the stereo until it boomed the whole drive to Meier's down in Alpine. I bought two bags of chicken, potatoes, baked beans, watermelon, and my mom brought soda, salads, cookies, chips and more. It was the kind of day you had to hike in the hills or hit balls off a pitcher to feel right with the world.

http://youtu.be/LjhCEhWiKXk

Great Coaches

"A good coach will make his players see what they can be." 

One of Max's coaches sent this last week:

I just wanted to send you a note to tell you how happy I am with Max’s play this summer.  As you may know, I’ve had him playing defense and he’s filled into that position greatly and is our best defenseman.  We lost virtually everybody last year and I need to get players accustomed to that spot in a hurry.  I know Max isn’t happy about playing D, but ... Max hasn’t complained at all, and when I put him up front, he is one of my better guys.  Dillon and I talk all the time about how good Max is doing. 

I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate him and how much he’s growing in his game. 

Tim also said that he's "trying to get each of the players to buy in to what I’m teaching and I don’t know how they are adjusting to me.  I hope in the end that they enjoy playing for me and Murray high.  I have high expectations for this year and want to really excel and how far we go remains to be seen.  Next year though, should be our year to really do some damage.  I hope Max stays with us for the next 2 years to help us take everyone down." 

I know Max is enjoying playing for him for sure. He was all grins after the win last night and tonight. 

Laughter

Before the hockey game and boxing rounds, we stopped for Subway. We drove the back roads home, windows open, and I listened to them laugh the whole way home.

On a different kind of mission

Sunday: cinnamon rolls, church, air soft wars, naps, watermelon, In Your Eyes (stuck in my head for days), laundry, otter pops, steak, out for kick the can.

Happy Campers

Last day of camp. Hockey gear with open windows. Players out on the ice. Tired by afternoon, lunches, tail end of a heated scrimmage game. Armstrong signed rookie card.

Mahalo turns 2

Just when I feel like I am failing as a parent, a moment will come along that makes me feel like I’m doing okay.

I don't know why I feel like crying tears of joy today. Until I think about what it means to have such good friends. Two years ago today these boys made a pact to always be there for each other. They called it the Mahalo Bros. and last year they had a 1 year celebration for their anniversary with over 50 kids. This year it was just the few of them again. Drinking lemonade. Laughing the night away playing kick the can. Max drove the crew to IHOP for pancakes until the wee small hours of the morning. 

http://youtu.be/4clhZZ6sdjk

Morning Glory

If you were able to change one thing about the way you live your days, it could mean significant changes over time. It could mean learning to take pauses for sunrises like this one on my way to work this morning. It could mean noticing the sun on your face, the softness of your pet’s fur, and the sound of my dear son's laughter. It could mean having peaceful pockets of time within a cray-cray day.

It could mean seeing myself with kind eyes and speaking with gentle words, letting go of grudges and being first to say, “I’m sorry”, living in today and not in the past. It could mean a soft place to lay my head at night, resisting the urge to numb my feelings and hide my pain, living authentically and courageously. It could mean answering the longings of your heart. It could mean experiencing the joy of living that has eluded you for too long. 

Summer days are too precious not to be lived. 

Today matters more than yesterday.

Here is what I tried to accomplish today. Some actions are easier than others. Some happen consistently; some do not. But I keep trying. I just keep trying. As long as I am still breathing, it’s not too late to keep trying.

Learn one new thing I didn’t know about my son.

Ask: “How are you feeling about things?” and listen—really listen.

Have one do-nothing-moment. (And then really do nothing.)

Save up a little patience, energy, or love. At the end of the day, give it to the people who matter most.

My Date

This handsome man asked me to eat dinner with him tonight. How could I say no? 

Summer Summer Summer

Summer

It is the smell of fresh cut lawns
It is the sound of crickets and thunderstorms
It is the taste of handmade peach shakes
It is the feeling of hot cement under bare feet it is bike rides on perfect summer nights

It is more than a season and more than a memory.

It is my favorite, most alive feeling, and it can be awakened with one smell, one taste, or one remembrance from my childhood summers.

I hope that my boys feel the same

Morgen: 1st day of wearing his "uniform" for work

Markus won this stick at his first day of Metcalf's hockey camp

Which is funny since he won THIS stick at the same camp last year!

PS...I also received a phone call from HR today and was offered the Labor and Delivery job I interviewed for. I start next month! 

Kicking It

Sunday: church, homework, wrote, homework, nap, picnic in the park, drive up the canyon, sat on the porch swing, repeated the night games (kick the can).

When The Sun Goes Down

It was impossible not to appreciate the beauty surrounding me last night, and even though it's all familiar, I was soaking it in like I'd never seen it before. 

Maybe it's the oranges or the fifty shades of green and brown. I'm not really sure, I do know that I was inhaling it all and feeling blessed and grateful and even a bit giddy. 

That is until Max told me that his coach told him about the boy he played hockey with a few years ago named Cory who passed away unexpectedly yesterday. I've believed in magic for a long time. The ordinary magic that gets buried by responsibility and jobs and bills and life. Even in tragedy, I think there is magic. There is always something beautiful underneath the rubble. 

I think my eyes were first opened to this kind of thing when I first started working at the hospital. There is magic in love and sadness, joy and pain. In the wheelchair parade going down the halls and making eye contact with someone who wants to share their story, a part of their soul really. 

There's no time to be bored in a world as beautiful as this. 

This. Is. Happening...

After Max left for Wolf Pack this morning I checked my email and in it was the newsletter from Labor and Delivery entitled The Vaginal Examiner. On Wednesday I heard from the recruiter from IMC who called to ask me for my preceptor's phone number. She said I would be hearing something by the end of the week. This may be my career move worth wishing for...

Chillin

Ice cream afternoon. Boys at hockey. Cherries and AGT in the TV room. Soft breeze. Distant thunder. Clank and slurp of cereal eaten in a bowl.

Boys of Summer

I shot tons of photos looking out at these boys in the hopes of keeping it with me always. The laughter. The energy. It's contagious. 

Marko made the Stanley Cup.

I love this weather RN :)