Make LOVE Connections

Sunday: sun (full blast), yogurt, Dutch babies, daydreams, skates sharpened in steel and sparks, Markus to practice, fingers crossed he wakes up from his nap not grumpy, dryland, mandarin orange, hot chocolate, trail mix, dried apricots, Lorax (from the crack in his door), airport later, two games won, one tied and Max scored in the shootout and one just worn down, Blasts in Damascus (on, public radio), chicken soup, old English love: Downton Abbey.

Tell A Great Story

They chased each other from the goalie to the red line and back, screeching like monkeys stuck in a tunnel. No more time. On to over time. Snippets of Shootout streamed from the Internet while they readied for Max to deke, shoot and score!

Love It

Snowboarding on the mountain after school. I took them to be there right when night skiing opened. Parker’s “Epic shredding” should have been on the list of most improved riders that started this year. Markus pulled every physical kicker and I tried to stop smiling at it but couldn’t. Then lip-burning chili for dinner.

Showcase

The blizzard on the east coast turned out to be a good old-fashioned snowstorm with enough snow accumulation to cancel school (less than 2 feet), keep traffic off the roads, and Max flying out there before sunrise (which did happen, especially if you count 5:45). They had checked bags and regular comforts to fall back on: sandwiches, gogurt, apples. Plus a surplus of peanuts, water, and pretzels, in case they get hungry mid-way to Rochester.

Heart Of Gold

{First HS playoff game}

{vs. Park City 5-3}

{Max + Markus + Hockey = Smiles}

Radio on. Modern Beiber in the car. The young one buckled in back, bathed in sweat from hockey. He shook his fists in the air, like hollow maracas. Inside Walmart, he ate chips and Gatorade while I pushed the cart. A bag of chips, toilet paper, and deodorant. This after fluorescents, hockey, Max versus the Goalie. One goal after the other. Mind numbing instrumental music, jazzy, though not really and the late night zombie walk. Stories carried in a heart of gold and a familiar smile.

Hope & Health

He went snowboarding after school, sliding downhill on the ice. Like the rumpled sheets, the soup went unmade. So it went with the day at work.

Sunshines

He walked in the door with good news. I didn’t know how to respond other than to question the weight of it. When Max came home from school, he stayed with Markus and I went down to the rink. The land cuts into a V held on either side by snow. I walked down the path and skated on top of ice. A bird flitted by then a plane. It was close to sunset and the whole place filled with shadow and light. I could have stayed until the stars shone, but left after the cold set in.

Kissin' Kate

Kissin' Kate on the stage. We stood together in the auditorium, alone, for a heartbeat.

From that to this...

First day on the ice ~2 years old

Some days we were run entirely by our bodies. He danced in his crib, exhausted but waiting, for what I couldn’t tell yet. I read him pages from Max, nearing the end and half afraid of what might happen on the next page. When I took him to Sun Valley, Darlin put him on the ice with her. She lifted him up, balanced and posed him, and he skated after that. Skating seemed trickier to find in the afternoon, though it was often when I had the time. I made sure he could come along when he wanted to, and he usually wanted to, and waited for his words to tell me he wanted to play hockey. 

Max scored the go ahead goal yesterday in Ohio and had another goal and an assist on top of that. The Grizz beat Cincinnati 6-1.  

Shine...

Like the whole universe is yours. - Rumi

Chase Adventure

Light seeped through the frame of his bedroom door. He left the lamp and itunes on when we left for the airport. I switched them off then noticed the note on his bed. Get the puck out it said. I laughed because it was true and he wrote it down so not to forget. We stopped by the mall later on, I bought an eyeshadow before the girls, excited for girl night, ate dinner.

10 Life Lessons

0 empty calories/junk food

1 hour exercise/reading

2 liters of water

3 cups of green juice

4 mental stretch breaks

5 things I'm grateful for

6 am meditation

7 minutes of laughter

8 hours of sleep

9 thousand steps daily

10 pm time to sleep

I like this.

{Pupukea Hawaii August  15, 2015}

Building MOMENTUM

MLK Day. He chipped away at the blocks on the back wall and boulders. His steady rhythm sounded through the hall with Sam and Gavin close behind. Max belayed and drove in the car then veggie tray, cookies, sloppy joes, water, chips, buns, and more cookies for team dinner. They were too full to skate afterward. In practice the pucks are flying so he took them around the rink and into the next session over several times until they tired of the shooting and skating and I asked Max's friend to bring him home. Work. 6am.

You Got This

Be kind

Work HARD

Stay humble

Smile often

Keep honest

Stay loyal

Travel whenever you can

Never stop learning

Be thankful always

And Love

In the morning, when light shone through every pane of glass, Max stood under the flag and sang along to the National Anthem. Who scored that goal to make it 2-1? I watched Max hold up a green colored glove and point at Markus. He laughed from his belly up, round and hearty before skating off to get two assists on top of that. 

Fevers

By morning, the fever spells didn't return so after he painted a picture of himself snowboarding and played in the game vs. Flyers, I sat on the couch, opened “Girl on the Train” by Paula Hawkins, and read while drinking cider then vegetable broth in succession, while he went to chill with Gavin.

+++

You Are Loved

Before the Nutella Love waffle was done, I sat in the big green chair close to sleep. He had another goal today in his second game. I leaned back in the chair another five minutes while he talked about the other game. And Markus his game and game.

WTF???!

Hands, put your empty hands in mine. And scars, show me all the scars you hide. He scored the game winning goal. I listened to Evanescence then Rachel Platten in the stands, and wondered why this moment had felt so far out of reach.

When he scored again and Jake had the assist, I knew he was grinning. 

Morgen was hungry after class and said the food trucks had "whatever the freak" you want - WTF?! 

Snow day. Plows circled the neighborhood uphill, down, side, and around. I made chicken noodle soup and crackers in bed for Markus. Being sick had its perks.

Grizz Cup X

They pulled out of the drive way early this morning — backpacks, coats and lunch boxes - spread out from the living room to the kitchen. Markus left for school, and then texted me to come get him. “Sick.” He dropped the backpack and walked over to the couch. He reached for the remote and blanket. I handed him the remote and found one of the softest blankets. He watched one movie after another, as if he were making a marathon, until he soon tired of it and went to sleep in his bed. He slept while I folded laundry. By evening, the fever returned so after they ate at Chili's and had won the first hockey game, he climbed in bed, and turned on "Pirates", and slept while I missed Max's game then he did his homework in succession.

Somewhere Sunny

A sliver of pink cut through white, this was our view of sunrise from down the hill. Neither of us thought much of the view when we first looked out the window. So it seemed, a day to connect you to the next, you could pick up a milk or cinnamon roll on your way out the door. My doctor and his nurse had a way of warming up to me, cautious and steady, and over the phone they began to say — How you feeling? The polyp was benign as I had thought. . . and such.

Boarding

The boys raced after school where they busied themselves for the boarding on snow. An extra practice meant he needed the car, the company of Markus needing a ride first. I waited for them to return, being called off work early due to lack of babies, and wrote blog notes on the back of a napkin, hoping my pain would subside. While at work, I opened the e-card delivered to my inbox, an anniversary thanks for three years of being with the company (Lori, Thanks, you’re the best). We set up camp in the living room after dinner. I forgot to roast marshmallows afterwards, next time.

Circles and Ice

He called and said he needed supplies for ceramics, requested paint brushes with a tool kit, drove Marko to practice  and Morgen back up to school. Teaching day. Toni circled the ice spirals, fell down, jumped, and around. The heave and clatter of metal on ice. I made shredded beef burritos and beans for team dinner. Being in pain from the biopsy earlier didn't have its perks.

Honors

“I need more contact solution before I go back to school.” We sat putting together a puzzle.“Like the sample that you got with your new contacts?” “No, the all day kind. It gets too dry. What do you think about me going to Washington D.C.?” Morgy told me about the trip last month but had more information from the honors business orientation on Friday. “The trip is included, as well as a ski trip. After I graduate, if I can get a job, I'm getting a pet monkey.” Wait, a pet monkey?!?

Eat, Pray, Hustle

Light stretched across the crumpled sheets. I stayed in bed tired most of the morning. Marko slept over a friend’s house after his birthday party and Max rode in the car with Ben to hockey. There would be basketball later, he said. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. The radio drifted in and out. “Every time I see you calling, I get down on my knees and pray.” Another cough drop and two short chapters read, I got up, made oatmeal, went back to bed. Found this fortune saved in my nightstand, “You will bring sunshine into someone's life.” True that. 

Winter Refresh

Snow fell in pillowed heaps. Morning snow, afternoon sun. I watched the ice patterns etch their way into the windowpane day after day. Yesterday, star clusters, today plumed feathers. More news about my car, possibly two o'clock. “Today, when you can come before work.” I worked last night too. The boys carried on, one with hockey, the other two with Star Wars battlefront, unaware.

Ring It In

They pressed into him like curtain pleats as he coached them in between periods. Once they filled their minds with power plays, penalty kills and attacks with pinching off, he played for the battle of second place. They played hockey while I talked in circles, from the seniors to the parents and back. He stopped and looked up at the crowds. The energy braced my lungs. I held the music in my hand and we held the lead.

He even dressed up for school yesterday. Probably so they could give each other high fives and geek out with a hashtag (#dontbend), not because everyone is doing it, but because they’re doing it, together.