Role Models

{Max and his new coach Joe after practice last night}

{Markus and his coach Jeff}

Coaches can be such great role models in the lives of children. So far, the boys have been so lucky to have really great ones. And this year is no exception. The boys both had practices last night and loved their new coaches and teams. It is really nice to have their practices on the same night, and the same time (almost) and at the same place every week. First games are tomorrow...should be fun!

A Blog About Love

I had several ideas for this post. Intriguing, amusing, thoughtful ideas, all jostling for space and attention in my head, slyly shoving each other while smiling broadly at the camera, vying to be chosen as the post winner.

Then, in a huge explosion of emotional glitter and figurative fireworks, I read this post.

I cannot – for the life of me – remember any of my post ideas. Not one.

Dinner has been late every night. I’ve meant to have this post up days ago, but… well… haven’t.

I’m not myself. Thankfully, not one person has had a problem with my errant actions or lack of concentration. Because, it turns out, nobody has noticed.

**************

There are so many parts of a “love story”. All the firsts that are encountered, fumbled, missed, celebrated – the first meeting, the first date, first kiss, first fight, first time “I knew”. The ebb and flow of lives and souls towards each other and away, the distractions, hazards and antagonists that cause the wary or oblivious heart to stumble and bruise – all combine to make each love story unique.

I like asking people about how they met their partners/spouses/boyfriends. I’m fascinated by which movies or characters, books or music people find beautiful. The variations in what is seen to be romantic is astonishing, as is the difference in dating habits among people I know. Hollywood certainly knows the allure of a love story, though what I class as excellent love stories (I am Sam, Family Stone and Jane Eyre for example) may not follow the same formula or be what you classify as love stories – but they are love stories to me.

I now have a love story/blog to follow. It’s still being written, with luminous ink freshly splashed over the astonished, blooming chambers of Mara's heart.

What’s yours?

Sleepless

Last night in the wake of a string of events in my life, I found myself in an old familiar position: doubled over with stomach pain, and sleepless because my insides were wound up so tight. As I was reading about cardiologist Dr. Dean Ornish's book called Love & Survival: 8 Pathways to Intimacy & Health, he states what I already know:

“Love and intimacy are at the root of what makes us sick and what makes us well, what causes sadness and what brings happiness, what makes us suffer and what leads to healing. If a new drug had the same impact, virtually every doctor in the country would be recommending it for their patients. It would be malpractice not to prescribe it.”

He continues: “Anything that promotes a sense of isolation often leads to illness and suffering. Anything that promotes a sense of love and intimacy, connection and community is healing. Healing is a process of becoming whole. Even the words ‘heal’ and ‘whole’ and ‘holy’ come from the same root.” As each day, week, and month of my life- and motherhood fly by, I begin to understand why families and intimacy are part of Heavenly Father’s plan for us. Or should I say why it IS Heavenly Father’s plan for us. I am only getting glimpses of what love really is, of what faith really is: part of that Light comes from God and fills “the immensity of space” - that brings us healing, wholeness, and holiness. It’s the light and the love of the Savior that flowed through to me and helps heal my stomach and my heart.

3 Names

{Adler}

{British kid}

The Naming of Cats - T.S. Eliot

The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.

First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey—
All of them sensible everyday names.

There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter—
But all of them sensible everyday names.

But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,
A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?

Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
Names that never belong to more than one cat.

But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover—
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.

When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable

{Moody}

Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

A letter

B ~ 1990

I can identify with the sweaty-palmed, sleepless expectation that comes with small leaps of faith– “Do I really need to take on this new calling?” or “Another move across the country?” or “Can I handle both part-time work and school?”– the kinds of questions that we all face from time to time. In this letter to my younger self, I'm giving advice about a decision I didn’t want to make at first, that required a leap of faith and changed the course of my life:

Dear B,

I see you in your car, parked in front of the temple on Main St. You're there because you're trying to make space for yourself to pray. You feel so negated, so erased that you're looking for space to call your own. But here's what you don't know: Sometimes it seems the Lord doesn’t really care what you want. He’s more interested in what needs to be done.

You pulled up to the temple and turned off the ignition. You sat in the quiet car and looked down at your hands as you fidgeted with your keys. Having just completed the ACT, you knew you needed to go to college, but was your performance on the test what you wanted? What about a mission? You’d always wanted to serve a mission. Didn’t the Lord want missionaries?

You sat in the car so long you began to get cold. You looked up at the temple spires and had the thought, “Wait and see.”

What I can see, over twenty years later, is that you still need time with yourself, to figure out what your thoughts and feelings are. When you sit with yourself alone, you can't ignore them. They come screaming at you. The only way to the other side is through it. You may have to go through pain, but on the other side is the good stuff. You are not alone. 

I feel so sad to think of what will happen of you don't learn this huge lesson. You'll lose pieces of yourself along the road. You know how much you love to dance? You've danced for the fun of it since the time you were little. You went dancing with your boyfriends at Xenon in high school and rocked out with your friends at stake dances. All that joy is going to fall away if you stop dancing. Listen to your heart to keep all the pieces of who you are through to the future. In stillness is the present moment and your willingness to listen...to allow Him to speak. He is telling you to enjoy the journey, not the end result. Everything you want to happen is going to happen.

There is a song that will come out in about fifteen years from where you are now that I wish you could listen to today. Notice the beauty around you. Partake in joy. And when you get the choice to watch on the sidelines or to dance, get out there and dance.

Love,

B

Mail



Morgen and Alex



 Morgen finished his driver's education on the 9th and I took him out to get his license the same day. He got the real thing in the mail yesterday however, and was driving all over town. First to the grocery store, then to hang at the mall with his friend Alex. They went to the Skrillex concert last night at Saltair and Morgen wanted to drive out there as well. Luckily, he has to wait six months before he can drive with his friends and/or after midnight. So I didn't have to worry about him coming home by himself after the concert. Still, it is different to watch him just driving away.



Adler aka British Boy



 Alex brought his cat over for Morgen to take care of while he and his family are in the process of moving. I am not really sure how long he will be here, but Max and Markus are sure having fun with him.

*******************************************************************************

My friend Allyson makes these beautiful quilts and because I "Liked" her quilts on Facebook, she entered me in a drawing to win one of them, and she notified me a few days ago that I had won! She sent it in the mail and I just received it yesterday. I can't believe how soft it is and the amazing detail that she put into it. She hand sews all of the quilts that she makes and they are amazing, heirloom quality, quilts. I am thrilled that I won but I also feel badly, like I should pay her for it instead. You can see more of her quilts here.    



{Dancing Angel Quilts}



Play

{Hockey}

{Markus had his second practice Thursday night}

{Max did as well, they both had another practice this morning}

{Followed by a double header in baseball this afternoon}

{Max played well in both games. First game was a loss, second one, a win!}

{Markus and I were just enjoying the beautiful day!}

Hooray!

Che

Max invited his friend Che to sleep over last night and today was his birthday. Since it is a tradition at our house, I served Che his breakfast in bed, only he was sleeping on the floor, so he ate it in a chair instead! (he-he)

Che is such a great kid and Max just LOVES to have him come over every chance he gets. He makes everything so much happier at our house. With his lively personality and brilliant sense of humor, I can see why Max and Markus fight over who gets to play shinny (or whatever) with Che. Morgen even joins in to the game on occasion when Che is here. Hooray for Che! So glad he was born today. :)

Oktoberfest

{My student Toni competed in the Oktoberfest competition yesterday}

{Her cute family that came to support her}

{Toni skated great and took 4th place!}

Cakewalk

Cakewalk is the game we played at  the school carnival today and it was a fundraising event. It is similar to a raffle and musical chairs. It was supposedly invented by the Revd Lewis Daly after the scales broke for the "guess the weight of the pie" game at the St Margaret's Church annual fete of 1869 in King's Lynn, England.

Numbered squares are laid out on a path. Tickets are sold to participants, with the number of squares in the path equal to the maximum number of tickets sold. The participants walk around the path in time to music, which plays for a duration and then stops. A number is then called out, and the person standing on the square with that number wins a cake as a prize (hence the name). When I told my sister that I was helping out at the carnival doing the cakewalk, she texted me back, "What do you do, walk on cakes?"

As a fundraiser event, the cakes were donated. Multiple cakes were given out, one for each round. Morgen, Max and Markus each played about six rounds before they won something.

Unusual Photos

So today when I came home from teaching, Morgen asked to borrow my camera. He came home with these photos on it...

Nice! Morgen called it Planking, and since I had no idea what in the world that meant, he kindly showed me online. Apparently "Planking" (or the "Lying Down Game") is an activity consisting of lying face down in an unusual or incongruous location. The hands must touch the sides of the body and having a photograph of the participant taken and posted on the internet is an integral part of the game. Players compete to find the most unusual and original location in which to play. The term planking refers to mimicking a wooden plank. Rigidity of the body must be maintained to constitute good planking.

Since early 2011, many participants in planking have photographed the activity on unusual locations such as atop poles, roofs and vehicles, while some "plankers" engage in the activity by planking only their upper body and feet while leaving the back suspended. What will they think of next?

School Photos

I know, I know. I never should have started. But since I did it for my first child, I had to keep up the tradition for my second and third. Oh school picture day... cheesey, forced smiles, combed hair, collared shirts all set in a cheesey brush-stroked backdrop & a pile of pictures to show for it that go into the boys school photo scrapbooks. I could just save my $40 bucks but the Mom guilt kicks in & I cave...They are like a rite of passage in the elementary school years. Plus, now I can see just how much Morgen has changed.

Preschool

Kindergarten



First

Second

Third

Fourth

Fifth

Sixth

Seventh Grade

Eighth

Ninth
(The year he didn't bring home the school photo order form!)

Tenth

Eleventh

He may look all grown up now, but he is still my little boy. Love you Morgen.

Bored

Markus' friend Patch told him about these short little stories on YouTube called Kid Histories  by Bored Shorts. If you are bored, you can watch them here. Just click on the link. I think the funniest one is when the children tell about going to summer camp.

"I'n in a yotta twouble!"

Blue Bird of Happiness

When my son Morgen became a teenager he was a little on the sober side—like Shawn Bradley is a little on the tall side. He kept to himself, answered questions in one-word grunts, and moaned about having to do awful things like take a vacation or go skiing. He didn’t really seem depressed, but neither was he really engaged with life or people. In other words, he was a teenager.

Three weeks ago he started to change. He started announcing, “It’s a beautiful day” in multiple languages. His voice took on an enthusiastic tone. He has always had a killer sense of humor but he started using it. I assumed he had just grown out of his sullen phase, but a week later he told me there was more to it. This is what happened:

He made a decision. A decision to be like Connor. A decision to be happy.

Happiness doesn’t just happen to us—it’s something we have to invest in, work at, learn about, and persevere with just as we would expect to work for and invest in earning monetary currency. Once we realize this, we aren’t stuck with waiting around for the bird of happiness to land upon us. We can cultivate happiness as a garden, and well worth the effort required.

“In all of living have much of fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured”

 - President Gordon B. Hinckley

I guess if a teenage boy can decide to be happy and succeed at it, the rest of us have a good shot at learning to enjoy life as well.

Barrel O' Fun

~2011 State Fair~

{Sweet Josslyn}

{Dad helping Connor}

{The dudes}

{Mmmm...Meatballs}

{Moochies famous Philly steak sandwich with mushrooms}

{Big Yellow Slide}

{Air-brush tattoos}

{Cousins}

{My little buddy}

{Funnel Cake}

{My dad and mom}

{Shot Blaster}

“Why do you hate that place so much?” I asked, expecting the typical answers: it’s too hot to walk around all day in the heat, roller coasters aren’t fun, it’s too expensive, it’s too dirty, there is too much exposed, tattooed flesh on people who really have no business exposing so much tattooed flesh. (Seriously, after a day at the fair, I want to scream, “Put some freakin’ clothes on, people!!!”)

“It’s about the false happiness of the world.”

Um… what?

“You know, the false happiness of the world.”

Um, actually, I don’t know what the heck you are referring to, my dearest love.

“The seminary videos. Didn’t you see the seminary movies, where all the bad things happen at amusement parks, like the bad guys are offering false joy in the roller coasters and cotton candy?”

Ok, I say, I saw such a movie once at the visitor's center at temple square. It's the only movie I really remember watching there, called Man's Search for Happiness, and I remember thinking, "What's wrong with roller coasters and cotton candy?"

“I dunno, I guess I always just associate amusement parks with false happiness, like it’s offering thrills that are fleeting. Like overpriced, fake, sticky joy,” my teenage son says.

Seriously, have you ever heard of somebody so over thinking a roller coaster?

I told him that such a preposterous idea surely came from someone that growing up, probably could not have afforded to take the entire family to a theme park, so to compensate, this writer probably assigned some moral failing to such activities. And somehow, harbored the notion from childhood that only people of an inferior mind could find pleasure in something as trivial as a 205 foot vertical 90 degree drop going 70 mph.
Well, call me a butthead, because I think that ride ROCKS.

My sister and I, incidentally, recently had a fantastic day at the fair with our children, our niece Candie and nephews Casey and Cole, and our parents.

What childhood notions have you carried into adulthood? And perhaps the most important question of all—did you see that movie about the bad guys offering false joy at the theme park? Because I’ve been to the amusement parks a few times already this season, and the only thing I’ve seen offered there is overpriced drinks, bad pizza, and one he*% of an awesome time.