Everyday Engagement

I walked the hospital where the upcoming deliveries would happen. We filed the outline for the orientation and nurse residency in black and white papers. Neither one of us could believe we were so close to the new role then we would be off to float sooner than anticipated.

Acts of Kindness

At the end of last week, on an otherwise unpreposessing Friday, I heard my phone ringing to find a wholly unexpected call from one of Markus' teachers. If you know me at all, you know that my boys are some of my very favorite's in the world. Even better than chocolate. (Heresy, I know)

My morning immediately took a turn for the better, and I spent the rest of the day musing over the perks of an unexpected kindness. There’s something wonderfully validating about finding yourself in a conversation about catching your son in an act of kindness, for no reason other than that they care about them.

A few hours or so ago, a different boy, while running down from the team hike we were on, sprained his ankle as he took a mis-step. The fact the boys took turns carrying their teammate down the mountain was great, but the fact of the act was better: I felt, all unsought, compassion and kindness.

I think God is particularly good at these kindnesses, the blessings we run up against when we think we’ve run aground, the unexpected fire of a sunset on the way to take the trash out that stops our breath.

Or the moon last night...These moments of gratuitous beauty: sometimes nature, but sometimes also unexpected kindnesses that still make the world a little more lovely.

It’s easy (especially now that school has started) to get caught up in the rush of day-to-day life. But here's hope to make a better effort at spreading acts of kindness.

What random acts of kindness have you experienced recently?

Stomp

After the hockey playing and Outliers picnic went down, Markus went to sleep over at Gavin's and Max went with his friends to the stomp. Tortilla chips and salsa for me, after a trip to Walmart. Max brought his friends, Lexi and Aaron over for smoothies after. A new old hangout date. I remembered to clean out my locker at work and finally sold my last nursing textbook. Sometimes I like being alone. Not to be lonely, but to enjoy my free time, being myself. 

Grizz Camp

The boys went back to play stick and puck hockey on the ice. I thought about photographing at the edge of the frame. Most of the subject would be pushed out to create tension and movement except for a hint of detail. The edge represented what we couldn’t entirely comprehend, both physically and metaphorically.

Love Will Remember

Tearing Down Walls

I read a few pages of my ATI review for state licensing boards then went for a long walk in the morning. Up one hill down another and saw a squirrel leap in and out of a dumpster and the school where Max went being torn down. I hadn’t been up that road in over a year. I forgot about the news: China stock exchange throws wealth away for millions, Global Warming Worsens California Drought, North and South Korea Exchanged Fire. Some things felt permanently broken. I came home and made dinner then Max feel asleep. We are still on Hawaii time I think and Markus and he both missed dry land training for naps which worked out well until bedtime.

Dreaming

The boys ate buttered French toast, one plate topped with blueberries, the other with syrup. I've been sick since yesterday and didn’t have much appetite, except for juice, which I had to get out of the freezer to make. Anything to improve spirits and help me sleep an extra hour or two. I felt spoiled in Hawaii. Where it was okay to be lazy. 

Day 237

{Action shot at last night's Hockey gathering}

The weeds out front had grown window high during this summer. I wondered at their resilience. Those plants were angling to reach the sky by summer’s end. I could barely muster up the energy to wash a sink filled with dishes and fold two baskets of laundry. Still I finished both and cleaned up Morgen's room he moved out of last week, although my body moved as if it was submerged in clay soil. I entertained the idea of making chicken casserole for dinner. Instead I stayed stuck to the computer for NCLEX studies and wondered if cereal and toast would suffice as dinner. I counted the hours until sunset.

Evenings

Junior

Monday: almost finished a novel in the middle of the night then up for the back-to-school routine, pan-fried egg sandwich, nap for Max, hockey parent meeting, cold cut sandwiches, long board riding in the park, handing out jackets, laying on the tramp listening to crickets and looking for the stars. 

Sevy

The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you. 

Friday: bagel, eggs, stretching, San Jose and back (in a day for the buddy passes not exactly getting us home on standby), airport snacks, and brand new school, the “do not stop” mantra for the day, asleep in my bed.

U are not a first year student everyday!

Enjoy it! 

Even though Morgen is a transfer student he still went to the new student orientation after moving into his dorm room and I didn't think I'd learn anything new at college orientation with him. I went with my son to SLCC orientation two years ago, plus had first-hand experience. However, in "Supporting your College Student" presented by Dr. Kari Ellingson, Associate Vice President, Student Development at the University of Utah, I wished I'd heard her advice before I sent him to college. What did Dr. Ellingson have to say that I wished I knew before I sent my first son off to college? 

One: 

Children go through changes. But, if it's your first child going to college, or your last, you will be going through changes, too. We are in the process of changing our relationship from parent to child to adult to adult. We go through transitions, pushing them away and holding them close.

Two:

 A student who works 10 to 15 hours on campus will do better in school than someone who works off campus, or doesn't work at all. Students working on campus are making connections with the campus, student, and staff. They are completing their identity as a student first. Students born from 1980 to 2000 are known as millennials. They don't like to suffer-they love nice things-and they don't mind working for them. Unfortunately, this can interfere with their education. So, if they want spending money, suggest a job on campus.

Three:

Cell phones according to Dr. Ellingson, are "the world's longest umbilical cords." Some students call or text their mom five to seven times a day. In our day, we waited in line for the phone down the hall on Sundays-when long distance was cheaper-and horror of all horrors-there wasn't such a thing as a cell phone! Don't let your child's crisis become your crisis. Let them problem solve. Ellingson's example was a daughter who called her mom and said, "I flunked my midterm. The professor hates me!" After consoling her crying daughter, the mother called back later with more advice. The daughter was like, "Huh? What are you talking about? Everything's fine."

Four:

They are learning to become themselves. Making new friends. They will be grieving and letting go of high school friendships, but will build new and deeper ones. A main developmental issue is finding their identity. Their core stays the same, which has been developing over the past 18 years. But, how they express themselves changes. They may try on new identities by copying new friends to see how it fits or feels. You may say to yourself, and hopefully not to your child, "Who the heck is this?" Then you meet their new friend, and say to yourself, "Oh, now I see who this is!" Intellectually they are still developing. They see things differently than before. They love to debate. They will try out their debating skills, or how to express themselves by choosing opinions contrary to yours, even if it isn't what they truly believe.

Five:

Dr. Ellingson talked about independence: "Their first steps as a toddler are towards you. Every step after that is running away from you." They need to discover how to be on their own-and this is one of their fears. Delayed maturation is common. It used to be people matured around 19, 20, 21. Today it's 26, 27 or 28. They will say to you "Leave me alone!" Then, "bail me out!" This is normal. The pendulum will swing back and forth. Just remember to love them, guide them, but let them figure it out. The more we solve their problems, the more we delay their growth into independent, responsible adults. And one more thing, "GO, UTES!"

What If

Islanders

He walked down to the beach with me before we left the Island. Salt, seaweed, sand, sun and a soft breeze blowing overhead. They ate pineapple and shrimp at the truck covered with autographs. We packed the car and said goodbye, until next summer.

Taste it

And then she ate papaya in the rain. Summer, so sweet.

I so just hit snoooooze....

Last day of vacation. Seaweed through open windows. Swimming out in the ocean. Beach by noon, luau, the Polynesian cultural center, Ka: Breath of life show. Walk on the beach before bed.

Summer's Not Over Yet!

Late in the afternoon, we walked down to the beach. I carried the surfboard past the rocky shore to the sandbar where we waded into cold lapping waves. We watched the surfer's daisy yellow rash guard make a zigzag pattern as he bobbed up and down riding the wave to shore. It was the way I felt at ease the entire trip and could have stayed in the water then on the beach all night. Long enough for dinner and a campfire anyway.

Make a little room for fun

Another early morning. This time with talk of the beaches plus pineapples. Why pineapples? Why not. I made cereal for the boys, passion orange guava juice for me. Still too early for breakfast. The sun glowed as orange as the birds of paradise out front which I thought about as the boys and I made our way to Pounders beach. White gardenias, pink plumeria, and a cluster of purple flowers. He put a flower in my hair.

Adventurer

Monday: 4 am “Go to the beach,” we poured cereal and milk up while I tried to convince him to sleep, private beaches, only two hikers met on the trail and waterfall, picnic lunch on the patio, another trip to the beach (Huki'lau) the second one we used the sand and water to wash off the mud and mosquitoes.

Serenity

Sunday: We celebrated at the beach with coconuts and sand. 

Time to rest up and get back out there...

Wiz Khalifa's prose streamed from the cloud and all that shone blue.

Dreaming of Fun

We missed being standby by one seat, instead flying to Seattle and connecting for a never ending flight to see the sun turn blood orange against shallow sand and sea then slip out of reach.

Happy Scouters

We stopped by the church to pick up the merit badges. I walked back alone while they played outside. I finished packing and ate cake at Girl Night for Olivia's birthday. Before the sun sank into the stream, the boys tried on track suits for the new outliers team.

Take You There

https://youtu.be/axq1jQTk84w

Spin

Baby, baby. Lots of babies on a dizzying hot August day. Babies in the morning and at the rink. Then a long walk with more baby, Granny Smith muffins, fruit, juice, and eggs. My shirt was soaked with baby lotion and sweat, yes making baby boys and hats meant work and fun for Darlin. It wouldn’t be summer without Sun Valley or ice or sweet babies. We played on the ice with cold feet and spun around, skipped the tea, and wished for a much longer trip so I could’ve stayed all week.

Walk

Next we gathered up the dinner plates and walked down the trail just like I used to do as a girl.

Baby Heaven

We held each other on the couch and in that space of us; I didn’t want to let go, ever.

At Last

Sunday: yogurt, cucumber water, massage at the Kura Door, apples and almonds, back country drive, stop at the gas station: Jax, Grey, and Brewster for loves plus a long hug from Darlin I dropped on the couch, later on Jan brought dinner in from Pioneer.

Cool Concert

She punched my arm when I tried to help her to the bathroom as the charcoal gray clouds slid overhead. I drove to the hospital when the rain slanted sideways with the wind. "Will you sit with room 12 again?" she said. “Yes, she's fine as long as you don't let her bite you.” Television makes her more agitated. The storm looked tornado-like, but it came and went within the hour. I parked behind the ER. Monet sent me a text that she had an extra ticket to the concert at Deer Valley tonight. She and Aria would save me a spot and provide the picnic. After the last vitals were done, I knotted and looped restraints from the back of bed frame to crazy girl's wrists before the new tech came in to take the night shift. Kristen Chenoweth’s song Popular played. As I listened closely to Bring Him Home, I remembered watching Les Mis play in a London theater so many years ago. So close I could almost feel her tremble with stage fright, something I knew all too well.