Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Most Wonderful Time

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{My Little Man Markus - 2004}
I am so in love this time of the year.

I love glitter, Christmas music, snow, and the magical, happy feeling I have right now.

I drove in the car and said a few silent prayers of thanksgiving.

I am so so thankful to be alive. I am enjoying so much goodness and making so many wonderful memories with my boys.

This truly is the most wonderful time of the year.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Thankful


Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received.

Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling.

Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.

Henry Van Dyke

Monday, November 28, 2011

Gratitude

{Max with Markus ~ 2 months old}

I was so busy keeping my boys from stepping on the flowers in the cart that I almost ran into the old woman in front of us. Three boys under the age of seven and a basket full of perennials made it quite a spectacle at home depot that day. She smiled at us and patted my arm. “You must love growing things.” I could only smile weakly and reply, “Yes, I guess I do?”

When I had little ones at home every day it seemed like a hundred hours long. But around First Grade somebody hit a cosmic fast forward button and before you know it they are passing the sacrament and taking Driver’s Ed and I was standing there with a bewildered look whining, “I swear he was just starting preschool about five minutes ago.”

I imagine in another five minutes I will have children leaving for missions and getting married. Five minutes after that I will be a wrinkly grey Granny skating at drop-in with my grand kids.

I see how fast my boys are growing and it makes me appreciate my youngest that much more. I don’t wish the days away like I did when it felt like my house was baby central; when my house was full of crying voices (including mine) and all our days ran together separated only by church and story time at the library.

I know why I want to just live in the moment and appreciate it for its beauty. Like today - I realize how lovely and magical it was. I want to savor it; just like I savored the spit-up and the crayon on the walls and the bikes left out on the front lawn. Savor the youth and energy of my children, of ourselves. I know that it does go so fast and it is such a splendid, beautiful, messy gift.

And hopefully, maybe just for a minute, I will understand. Maybe I will stop and look–really look–at my beautiful babies and love them in the moment.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Deck The Halls


{with little trees}
As I hauled the Christmas boxes up from the basement yesterday and today, my boys (especially Markus) whipped into a frenzy of excitement– the stockings! the ornaments! the ribbons! the nativity! the books! Poor little guys, they hardly knew which to take out first.

But once the tree was up and the stockings hung, they hauled a stack of books upstairs to read at bedtime (except Markus, who, of course, keeps Santa Claus next to his bed for constant reference). I have a good mix of holy and worldly, teary and giggly and at least a dozen beautifully illustrated versions of Luke 2. Every year I add one or two more to my growing collection.

Prized in my collection is the It's A Wonderful Life Book.



{and boughs of holly, fa, la, la, la...}

{I hope that Adler won't knock these over}



{He seems to think all the decorations are his new play things!}

{I am still fixing the tree from when he knocked it over in the middle of the night with a loud crash!}

{He is walking all around my little English village pieces and knocking the fake snow all over the ground!}

{Adler keeps chasing the skaters on the pond too!}

{Can't forget the mistletoe!}

{Nutcrackers from my trips to Germany}


{All the stockings are hung by the chimney(?) with care}

{In hopes that St. Nicholas soon will be here}


{Do you believe?}

Thanksgiving Shootout


Park City Vs. Lightning game


Max exploding on Defense


It was a close game 3-2 until the last 20 seconds when Cody (Coach Volker's son from last year) from Park City scored on an open net


Max really had a great game though and told me afterwards that he was glad that, at least it went better, than last time his team played them.

I wish he could see the bigger picture of just how much he is progressing each and every game. I asked him at In-N-Out, where we stopped for dinner on the way home-what his favorite part of playing hockey was and he said, "Shooting and winning." Then Markus said, "I don't care if I win or score, I just have fun playing hockey!" This stage of my life at times seems so challenging and intricate. Every day I just feel like I am breaking down, bit by bit. Am I doing enough? Am I putting my career too much on the back burner? Does my butt look big? How can I pay off my debts faster? Did what I just say come across as offensive? I haven’t spent enough time with my sons today. Is the house seriously dirty, again? The list can go on and on and it usually does. About six years ago, I think I really needed a MOMENT. A moment to feel free from all the worries of life, and by doing that, to really feel life. After living so many moments for my children, I wanted something that was purely for myself, something that I could savor without any responsibility to anyone else.

I hear so many women say, “I would never do anything risky now that I have kids,” or how I felt as a working mother, as stay-at-home mothers have sometimes given me the “eye.” It’s the pressure I’ve felt at times to be a crafty mom, when really I’d much rather be at the park or on a hike with my kids. It’s those day-to-day moments as we navigate parenthood that sometimes have me wanting to pull my hair out and say “Am I doing anything right?”

While being a mother is my top priority, greatest joy, and a blessing, I think I sometimes lose a part of me in it. The part that happily welcomes opportunities to learn, grow, remember, and celebrate moments in my life–even if it means leaving the house cluttered a little longer or involves the boys wanting to eat sticky candy after brushing their teeth. I want to feel rejuvenated, motivated, excited, and spirited, like that feeling you get after reading an entire book from cover to cover or when you enjoy a nice, brisk six-mile run to clear your head. I had been doubting the joyfulness of parenting. I needed to take a moment to remember who I was, not who everyone else thought I should be. I wanted a moment that would help me recapture some of that enthusiasm for life I was missing, and that would make me a better mother, a better friend, a better sister. A better person.

So I decided to do a triathlon.

It’s funny how the force of the air quickly synced to the intense pounding in my chest as I peddled my bike. The clear blue skies hit my eyes and the crisp St. George air hit my face, and I smiled from ear to ear. My lungs spilled out during that sixty-second downhill as every inch of my skin bounced up and down in wave-like formation. I was flying.

My adventure renewed me. As quickly as I can close my eyes and recall small details of my adventure, I can bring myself to capture moments more readily as I (hopefully) continue to grow in my parenting. A moment to let my son skip practicing piano because the sun was shining and he really wanted to play outside with his friends. A moment to hold onto a hug a little longer. A moment to forget about homework and drop dinner off to another mother down the street (even if it was just Papa Murphy's pizza). A moment to turn off the TV, lie in bed with my thoughts and talk to God about my day. A moment to express to my sister, Darlin, who wants to have a baby, just what a wonderful mother she will be. Just today, I opened a little note that she sent me in the mail and inside was a magnet that says;
MAY YOU ALWAYS BE BLESSED
WITH WALLS FOR THE WIND,
A ROOF FOR THE RAIN,
A WARM CUP OF TEA BY THE FIRE,
LAUGHTER TO CHEER YOU,
THOSE YOU LOVE NEAR YOU,
AND ALL THAT YOUR
HEART MAY DESIRE.
(Irish Blessing)
 Moments like that, now that I’m embracing my life, help me believe in my heart.


Saturday, November 26, 2011

Tournament - Day 2


I tried out the video camera feature on my phone today when Max was warming up for his game this morning. It is kind of slow and choppy but I guess you can get the idea! He played aggressively for his Lightning team and played defense the entire game again. They ended up beating the Jr. Steelheads team, 4-2. Way to go Lightning!

*******************************************************************************

Next game in two hours. Against Park City, yikes! They are going to need a lot of luck. :) 

Friday, November 25, 2011

Ogden Tournament

First game in Ogden this morning was versus the Golden Spike team, it was a close game but in the end, Max's team ended up losing 4-1.

Next game this afternoon, was a much closer game versus the Jr. Grizzlies Squirt A team, tied 6-6!

Markus was the team mascot again. Silly boy! Go Lightning!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving!

{Markus helped me make the rolls this morning}
{He told me he loves rolling them, rolling them and throwing them in the pan!}



{Then this afternoon, we went to Monet's home for the feast!}


{Monet invited her friend Sara}

{As well as four other friends and all the family}


{Monet made the turkey and stuffing, while everyone else brought something; including mashed potatoes, stuffing, sweet potato pie, yams, rolls, spinach, green beans, vegetable trays, and tons of pies!} 


{Monet was a gracious hostess and asked my dad to say the prayer for everyone that couldn't be together on this day of family, food and gratitude.}


{Josslyn loved seeing Ashley and of course Morgen}


{Cute Sierra brought stuffing that she made and came for dinner even though her mom is in New York}



{After dinner, we all stayed and played games like celebrity Taboo and Apples to Apples}
{We also drew names for Christmas and played on iphones/pods/pads! At one point every one in the room had theirs out talking about it! I thought it was kind of funny, even though mine wasn't working and some of my texts weren't going through.}

{Connor was so tired about 10:00 and kept asking me to take him home}


{I couldn't say no to his sweet little face, so I finally took him outside}


{Even after my parents went home, we stayed and talked and laughed and of course had seconds (the best part!) of the turkey and stuffing.}


{My sister Sheri has this innate ability to make everyone laugh!}

{Her daughter Whitney has it too and she wanted Markus to stay and have a sleep over at Aria's house. But he wanted to go to the game in the morning instead. He is Max's number one fan!}
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Bears


The Grizzly bears were hungry tonight! Max's Lightning team played the Jr. Grizzlies team tonight and it was an exciting game. Max played versus his friend Che for the first time, besides at drop-in, and they were really fun to watch.



{Markus added the beard to his Lightning man costume}
{The Grizzlies mascot had a hat}

{Max learned right before the game tonight that he was made assistant captain of the team}

{He was pretty fired up}

{He and his whole team played great}

{One of Max's friends that broke his shoulder the day before Lightning try-outs, was back in action tonight and it was good to see him again}

{You never would have known that both Che and Max had spent the morning at stick and puck at Acord and the afternoon skating with me while I was teaching. They both skated like it was a Championship Game!}

{Grizz won 9-1 but it seemed like a really exciting game!}

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Sisterly Love

Dining out with Monet is always entertaining. She orders the fried something appetizer, the cream covered pasta, a sugary drink. I order tomato soup and some rosemary flat bread. As we await our food she slathers butter on multiple pieces of thick white bread. When the food comes she happily consumes her own and begs for a bit off everyone’s plate. And even if the group is full, she orders dessert: something luscious, large and chocolatey.

I consider myself a pretty tough chick, but even I could use a nice meal once or twice a decade. So, after thinking about this for several years (I never said I was very smart), I think I’ve come up with an answer.

I am completely and entirely filled with sinful pride.

I am just so unwilling to show any sign of weakness, that I force myself to be put together and composed under any circumstance. Kill me, it might, but darn it, I’ll be looking fit and prepared for the occasion.

Why on earth I do this to myself is beyond me. I’ve never much cared for the image of a weak, needy B (I don’t have the right jawline to pull it off), but then, I’ve never once considered any of the women who I’ve discussed in my vast array of meetings as being weak or needy. Go figure. I’ve seen so many strong, capable women who have borne their trials with grace and dignity. But me? I’d rather everyone just think I’ve got no trials.

Sinful, I tell ya.

I’ve only known of one person who sees so clearly through my iron-clad composure. It's my sister Monet, who is a few years older than me. She always asks, “How can I help you?”, and I always reply with the same answer, “Oh, I’m just fine.” But she doesn’t believe me, can you believe that? She just shows up on my doorstep at random moments in my day with pies, entire dinners, chocolate, or notes of encouragement. She used to steal my kids, when they were little, for an hour so I could nap or run errands. She would actually call me, exactly when I needed her most, just to say hello.

Imagine it! It’s just like in the movies! Only it’s for real!

Someone, living by the Spirit, seeing through my pride and arrogance. She knew I couldn’t keep up the facade forever, but she didn’t wait for me to crack wide open. She just quietly glued up the cracks, opened up places for pressure to release, and filled me up with warm, chocolately goodness. Because of her example, someday I’ll actually be as good a person as I’m pretending to be right now.

Why do women pretend so much (or am I the only one)? Why is it so hard to be real?