Coming to an end

Markus' and I both cried while reading this email: 

Dear Regulator Family, Monday night was extremely heavy with the realization that our season is coming to an end.  This has been an amazing season to firsthand observe the development and growth of our players.  It was hard to walk out of the rink knowing that with only two tournaments left, this might very well be the last time I coach some of these young players.   My hope is to share some of my thoughts and more so my feelings.   Looking back to the start of this season we had some hurdles to overcome.  We went through a transition of ownership with the Regulator organization, which placed a heavy burden not only on our coaching staff, but more so on our team manager.  I have to say I am forever grateful for the behind the scenes efforts of Michele and Greg.  They have not once complained with the insurmountable tasks placed on them beyond their scope and role.  For this I appreciate their dedication and focus on making this an amazing season for our boys.   We set out to create a birth year team with an understanding that this would be a building year to set the foundation for a strong group of players moving into the future.  The selection process was difficult looking at not only the player’s skills, hockey sense and coachability but also the character of the players we wanted to work with on and off the ice.  I have been involved with many teams across multiple disciplines of sport and I have rarely met a group of players and their families that have such strong values, friendships and dedication to the cause.  This has been a dream team to work with.   My goal this year was to instill in each player a genuine love and passion for the game of hockey.  In doing so, I have rediscovered why I love this game so much.  I have enjoyed watching our players step beyond their comfort zones and do things they themselves weren’t quite sure they were capable of.  I hope your player has felt this season that the environment we created promoted a positive learning atmosphere where the focus has been on fun, teamwork and skill development.  I often tell the boys I am not concerned with the scoreboard or the outcome of the game.  I love to win.  Winning is good.   I am more concerned with how each player played the game.  My focus is on shaping character, confidence and developing the fundamentals to play this sport at each level.  Winning the small battles, winning the small successes over time has and will continue to lead to success down the road.  This was a building year – a foundational year to establish a strong footprint to create a “TEAM”.  I believe we have accomplished what we set out to do.  Our players have supported each other and played for each other and respected their teammates, coaches and opponents.  A great hockey team starts with a common belief that they can achieve the impossible.  Looking in your boy’s eyes in the locker room before each game I see the belief that they are the greatest.  It is hard to put into words but this is what brings me back after a tough loss, or a difficult practice session.  Knowing these boys believe that they can “BE” something great pushes me as a coach to share with them the love I have for this great game.   While the word “development” is thrown around loosely within many circles of the hockey community – Monday night demonstrated to me that our boys have realized the concept.  Development is highly individualized where each player progresses at his or her own pace.  I would say that players on our team are at differing levels of development.  Each one is moving forward, some more quickly than others and that is okay.  At the beginning of the season we scrimmaged our 02’ Peewee team and clearly lost on the scoreboard.  To many the scoreboard reflects a significant measure of development.   I believe that true development is captured by factors far more telling about a player and team that are not found on the scoreboard.   During the preseason scrimmage, we were also outplayed in more important measures of development and success – skating, passing, shooting, puck handling, speed of play, hockey sense and positional/ systems play and I could go on.    All season long we have played teams with mixed birth years.  I find myself often forgetting that we are playing older and stronger players.  Some teams have been noticeably larger in size and stature, speed, skill/talent however we have played to match if not exceed specific aspects of each of our opponents.  We have played a disciplined game tailored to our strengths to compete successfully.  We have adapted strategy and systems to allow our players to stretch themselves beyond their comfort levels and grow.  Growth can be hard and unsettling – to ask a 70 lb player to explosively skate and physically fore-check an opponent weighing 80 lbs more can be unnerving to our smaller skater.  It is rewarding to see them apply the proper approach and skill sets to take on larger, faster, more mature players.  Throughout this season we have tried to help each player discover the reason why they play this game.  Why they have gotten up at 5 am on Saturday mornings to drive to practice or stand in the freezing cold, singing at Harmon’s to collect donations for the Salvation Army.  Why they have resiliently played with positive motivation after they have lost multiple games in tournaments or why they have given up their Friday and Saturday nights to practice and learn or spend countless hours driving to and from practices and games.  I would contend that not one of our players would answer ‘I play to win.’  I believe they play this game because they love the game and the friendships they have developed.  They love the feeling of success through development.  They BELIEVE they can be the best. They love and understand that small successes bring about great accomplishments.  Winning the shift and then the next shift and so on.  Winning the period and then the next period and so on and ultimately success is how we played the game – not the scoreboard.  Last night we could argue that we tied the 02’ Peewee team in a 20-minute scrimmage.  To me this would not truly depict or capture the essence of what we have become… To me we skated just as hard if not harder, we moved the puck effectively with quick short passes, we back checked and pressured the puck, we broke out of our zone effectively, we positioned our body to anticipate the play, we communicated with each other.  We defended our goaltender, we provided backside and front side support, and we trusted each other.  When we had lapses in play we absorbed the coaching and applied it quickly.  Most importantly we never stopped “believing” we can skate with any Peewee team.  To me we have developed as a team and individually.  To me these boys have grown in character.  I asked at the beginning of the season for our boys to write a short excerpt of what it means to be a leader.  Last night I pulled out the letters and read them again.  Each boy on this team has in one capacity or another demonstrated the qualities and attributes they have expressed which make up a leader.  What an amazing season we have sowed.  Even more spectacular are the results we have reaped.  We have played a total of 37 official games with a 17/17/3 season, thus far.  We have potentially 8-9 more games to finish off the season.  We placed 1st in the Aspen Tournament and 2^nd in the Anaheim Fall Festival Tournament.  We played well in the Park City Tournament this past fall and also in the Grizzly Cup this January.  You would have thought we won the Vegas Tournament with the excitement from our stands and players winning the final game against the Jr. Kings.   To me, one of the most memorable games was our recent loss to the Salt Lake Lighting Organization.  We played a team that clearly we can and should have beat across all aspects of the game including the scoreboard, however we didn’t unite as a team and play our game.  The game ended in favor of our opponent.  Many if not all of our players hung their heads in disappointment and frustration in the locker room.  Losing is never fun.  I learned several of our players left the arena with tears in their eyes.  Why this game means more to me than many of the games we won is because our boys learned a valuable lesson that night.  Winning truly isn’t everything.  In fact, losing often produces an ideal psychological training ground for life. You could see the pain and agony of defeat and the disappointment in each players face in the locker room.  I don’t believe the disappointment had to do with the scoreboard as much as it had to do with the realization that we didn’t play our game and we didn’t play as a team.  We played individual hockey.  It is easy to love a team, coach, organization, sport or whatever it may be when everything is going your way or you are on the winning side of the equation.  It is much harder when we experience a loss, challenge, change or obstacle we perceive as impossible.  It really tests your love of the game and devotion to stay committed.  From a coaching perspective, I for the first time experienced the nervous unsettling feeling in my stomach as I drove to Vernal, Utah.  I had spent the previous nights following the Lightning loss, sleepless, thinking how could we as a team bounce back yet once again.  Looking beyond the score, how could we as coaches create a positive experience for our players?  Deciding to change our team line ups without practicing together created some uncertainty and more importantly how would our players respond coming off of a significant loss.  Once again, I was surprised by the agility and the positive response – the outcome was remarkable.  Driving home from Vernal after our Saturday game was surreal for me.  The scoreboard is insignificant and has little to do with how I felt.  The level of play and execution by our team – the realization of the development of each player is what fostered the joy I was experiencing.  This past weekend we practiced at the Oval on Friday night.  The practice was off and the pace was low.  I pulled the team aside and expressed my disappointment. Saturday night after practice I asked how would you rate the practice to the team.  Overwhelmingly, they gave it a 10 – one player noted and asked, “Coach did we work harder tonight?” which my reply was yes.  This is why I coach.  Because I love to watch your players develop.  I love to watch them develop qualities that will benefit them far beyond the ice arena.  While many of our player’s dreams are to play and earn a college scholarship or one-day play in the NHL my hope is that we have helped them develop skills, sense and systems to assist them along their journey.  More importantly, my hope is that we have nurtured values that they will apply in all aspects of their life.   I would like to take the time to thank our Coaching Staff and Team Manager.  Michele, Greg, Tony and Jeff have been extremely supportive and instrumental to the wonderful season.  They have dedicated countless hours of service, time, and funds to ensure we created a positive environment for our team.  If you have not already done so please personally express your appreciation for their efforts.  
I would also like to thank you parents!  Thank you for supporting your player.  Thank you for waking up Saturday mornings at 5 am to drive them to practice.  Thank you for sitting in the stands watching practice after practice.  Thank you for encouraging and motivating your player to push themselves.  Thank you for sharing your thoughts on our season, our games, our practice plans - we have appreciated the insights and heads up you have provided. Thank you for taking the initial leap of faith to join this great team and org.  Thank you for traveling and taking time away from family and work to support our players in tournaments.  Thank you for your friendships!!! LOOKING FORWARD We would like to hold an End of Season Team Party after the Park City Tournament.  We will work with parents to ensure we select a date that accommodates all if not most of our team.  I know Greg and I would also like to schedule an ice session to play a parent vs. player game.  In addition, depending on our schedule I would like to host the entire team (players) for a traditional sleep over at my home.  We will play a lot of street hockey, night games, watch hockey movies and enjoy the traditional team breakfast.  Those of you on the Regs team last year might recall how fun it was.  We will eliminate the paintball since we had a near mishap…oops! In preparation for our team party could you please send me a couple of pictures of your player or of our team that you have taken throughout the season on and off the ice.  Thanks. I look forward to finishing the season strong and on a positive note for all of our players.  Come ready to have fun and cheer loud at the games. In preparation for our games beginning tonight: 1.     Be sure all players are caught up on schoolwork.2.     Please ensure players get a good nights rest prior to each game.3.     Please ensure players get a light meal and stay hydrated.  4.     Days were we have multiple games please make sure they rest in between games and do not participate in activities that will drain energy.5.     Come mentally prepared to work hard and most importantly HAVE FUN! If you have any questions please reach out to me personally. Sincerely,  Coach Mikko 

Photo: Last night's Spring Fling victory over the Lightning. 

We Are What We Repeatedly Do

{Bucky taking a shot at Friday night's game}

I can not remember seeing Max this excited about something in his whole life. He has repeatedly worked hard this entire season. He has been to every practice. He explodes out of the locker room for dry-land. He studies nutrition information while eating his snacks. He keeps track of how much weight he is lifting at the weight sessions. He looks over the mental training guidelines while he is doing his homework. He reads over the play book Coach Oly gave him before every game. He loves to be the first one on the ice, and the last one off after picking up the pucks. Oly, sent me this text:

I love Bucky's work ethic and passion for the game. In fact, for the record, he is the most improved player on the team so far this year. Thank you Mama Bucky.

Max had two games this weekend to get him qualified for Tier II state playoffs, nearly forgetting it was a holiday - but not quite. When he played in Friday night's game, he was on the ice more than usual due to the high number of penalties on the member's of his team. Sixteen total, three players suspended from Saturday's game and Coach Oly, since Coaches are suspended when their team has more than fifteen penalties I guess. When he told me about Saturday's game(since I had to work) the oddest thought came to my head. 

"I want to get excited about hockey."

I went up to his bedroom where he was supposed to be doing an assignment for school. Instead he was looking at the newest copy of USA Hockey magazine. He had the neck of the bendable light shining directly down on his magazine. He was reading each article like a true scientist. 

"Do you think this stick would make my shot better?" he posed with a giggle. I could tell it was a trick question, so I played along. 

"It sure looks like it would to me," I replied. 

"Nope! It's not the stick that makes a better shot. It's the number of times you shoot it." Max then proceeded to tell me how he is going to take a few shots before his practice tomorrow to see how many he can get in before.

As he described how he wants to work harder, a thought I'd never had in my life came to me. "I want to get excited about shots."

First it was hockey then it was shots. I had no idea where this was coming from. 

Then, yesterday morning, Max bounded down the stairs fully dressed and ready for breakfast. He was holding the USA Hockey magazine in one hand and his newly taped stick in the other. It was 8:35 a.m. and he was smiling the way people do when they are about to leave on a plane for Hawaii. I found his early Sunday morning cheerfulness a little irritating. 

There I stood in my mismatched pajamas and blue fuzzy slippers holding a plate of eggs made scrambled, the way I always make them thinking, "I want to get excited about mornings too."

It is kind of painful to admit, but I can't remember the last time I felt excited...like jump-and-down excited...or grinning-from-ear-to-ear excited. Truthfully, I was in a mood. My heart felt like it was only half beating. My view of the world looked grey. I needed something but what...medication? Meditation? Vacation? I knew what was wrong with me. I was missing Markus on his birthday. 

All day I thought about my son, my missing his birthday, my going-through-the-motions of buying and wrapping his present existence. I'd just completed a 12-day Choose Love Challenge. I'd promised to choose love as my response to loneliness, frustration, and sadness, but suddenly I also wanted to choose to love LIFE more. I wanted to get excited about everyday blessings the way my 15-year-old son did. But maybe this is just what happens when you get older and you are missing someone. Maybe my boys can only get excited about hockey and shooting and practicing. I had no answers, I did feel slightly more alive because I was asking questions...even ones that hurt. 

Max got finished with practice by noon with sweat joyfully dripping from his hair. By the look on his face, it was Christmas in February. He informed me that he had won the shootout and had to practice more shooting as soon as he got home. 

I sat in the driveway bundled up from head to toe while my coat-less son demonstrated several variations of hockey shots despite the bitter wind. I couldn't help but notice the way his grin grew with every shot. As Max got into a rhythm, the pucks literally came to life. 


Between the sunshine, his smile and the movement of the wind, I felt a little better. I felt a little pulse coming back to my lifeless veins. 

A few hours later I logged on to watch Markus' final game from Vegas online. I thought about not watching it and studying instead. I was tired and just wanted to go to bed. But those pucks flying in the driveway seemed to call me. 

After agreeing to the terms and conditions and paying the $10.00 fee, my son's game promptly filled the computer screen. It was a little jumpy due to my ancient computer but Markus still looked to me as if he was flying across the ice. When the game versus the LA Jr. Kings was tied 1-1 and he scored the game winning goal it was like lotion on my thirsty winter skin. 

I hadn't expected him to be so good at hockey. I hadn't expected it to feel this good to see his face. Between his little smile, the tranquility of the sound of his skates on the ice, and our loving connection when he pointed to the camera and did a fist pump, I felt a little better. I ran upstairs to text Max as he had gone out with some friends. 

This afternoon was Max's extra team practice for President's day. He'd just finished up on the ice when he asked me if I wanted to stop for fish tacos at Lone Star. I really wanted to get home. I needed to save money. But the smile - the smile got me again. He seemed to whisper, "Say yes." 

Just because I am an adult does not mean that I must live a life void of excitement, passion and joy. I can:

• Take a different route home
• Accept a challenge
• Learn something new
• Say yes more often than no
• Surround my self with lovers of life
• Stop expecting - and instead
• Be open to the unexpected

Every time I feel the need to be excited more than I do I am going to say something I thought I would never say:

I am excited about fuzzy slippers. 

I am excited about snowflakes. 

I am excited about bubble baths, 

and balloons with curly, blue ribbons.

I am excited about crunchy sweet apples from Trader Joe's in the dead of winter. 

I am excited about this beautiful day in front of me just waiting to be lived. 

We are what we repeatedly do.

I am excited.

My Valentine

{This pic of Markus was taken last month at the Grizz Cup}

My valentine is in Vegas

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On another note, my friend Laurie's husband sent this out with his reminder about the 6th Annual Love Olympics held last night. It made me laugh. XO