Laugh Everyday

Humor is vital. I definitely have a tendency to take myself way too seriously. I think that stems from my old pattern, of trying hard to be good and always wanting to be better. But in my quest for improvement I often forgot to laugh, which is easy to do, since life gets so busy. But laughter is important to your sanity and to your health. Marjorie Hinckley said, “The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer laughing. Crying gives me a headache.” I agree. I also think that numbers and things are easy to measure. I don’t know that you can measure, “Today I was full of charity – check!” the way you can measure, “You always look great,” or “I was back to my pre-baby weight five weeks after the delivery.” For some women it seem’s easier to shop at the right stores or see that your blog has the right design or gets so many comments. They provide validation or pat on the back. There are lots of ways that we can hope that we’re successful or feel that we’re successful, but that’s not as visible as when you see someone with a new model of car, or living vicariously through their husband’s fancy job, or whatever it might be. It’s an added pressure when women compare not just themselves, but what other people are doing that somehow reflects on them.

I feel like part of life is recognizing what is important to you and what’s not. If it’s important to you and worth your time, go for it, and if it’s not, leave it alone. I don’t do my hair every day, I don’t spend that much time on it, and I don’t feel bad about it. That’s kind of a shallow example, but I’ve noticed that me being comfortable with myself gives other people permission to be normal too. I’ve found a lot of kindred spirits that way. With life, I’ve been amazed at how many people I feel really close to that find the same things funny as I do. I would have never known how much we have in common or just how much we click if I hadn’t made the joke to start with. You can find lots of substantive things to bond over besides superficial things. For me, it’s important to just recognize what you enjoy, embrace it, and shrug off the rest.

Blogs are a blessing in that they are a great way to stay connected with other people, to help stave off feelings of isolation that are common in moms and to feel part of a circle of support or friendship. Blogs are a people-watcher’s dream because they give you a fun peek into people's everyday lives. But they are a thinking person’s nightmare, because it’s so easy to compare your real self with someone else’s fake self. They’re a curse because some are like a nonstop Christmas letter, a daily update where you see every polished detail about someone’s life. If I read enough blogs, and I don't stop to laugh, I could really end up with a complex.