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Then (circa 1995)... |
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| and now. |
So what, you say? Ha, we all had children, that were babies plus or minus two years. Or we had superpowers of extroversion.
My family complicated things for me by moving every year until I was a teenager. Then, while my family worked the ridiculous long hours of the local economy, I was grateful and delighted for conversation with anyone about my height who wasn’t going to ask me for skates.
However, I wasn’t talking to my new friends about the books I read or my latest argument with my family. We caught each other’s occasional rants and good news, but we didn’t share them in common. Not like you do with a friend, the way I had ever had a friend before. Really, what we had in common was still that we were about the same height and didn’t ask for anything. We were just at the same time and place.
And then we moved, or went away to school and half of us didn’t see each other anymore. Our children multiplied, took up new sports, or were of opposite gender, and yet we still got together every month. Sometimes driving for over half an hour to get to each others homes. And I had thought it was hard when we had to walk through the courtyard to get together.
Tearful, I called one of my true friends, a soul mate on the other side of the country whose children are the same ages of mine, and asked her what the heck I should do.
These are the worthwhile friends, she said.
It’s not just that Moms are busy. Grown-ups are busy. Remember when you were single and your friends married and disappeared? Figure out that you never would have become soulmates with that friend, if you weren’t both taking a walk to the library on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 10:15?
Enjoy these friends. It’s fun and good, enjoy it while you can. Don’t be sad it might be different tomorrow. Enjoy the people who are there.
If you like someone, plan monthly nights out with her, plan an exercise schedule, hope your kids will be friends a while. Because, in general, you’re going to have to make time or you'll be just too darn busy to see her. Next year you’ll be driving to piano while she’s driving to soccer. But there’s still hope for a bright new land where you make more time with friends of your choice.
I'm so glad I took her advice. Now our babies are in high school, and we still make time for each other, fifteen years later.
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| Heidi |
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| Laurie |
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| Nicole |
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| Kelli |
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| Naomi |
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| Cute Carol hosted our annual Christmas Girl Night this year |
- Carol is much too complex to be reduced to a series of annual bullet points
- Grateful that all are healthy and happy!
- Mother of four beautiful children, two of which are pictured above, Lilly and Nina
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| Lovely Livy said... |
"Our very special bond of friends is quite remarkable. I am so grateful to have friends who truly love each other and who genuinely care about each others well being. All I know is that I feel so comfortable with all of you and know that you all have mine and everyone else's best interest at heart. There is no gossiping among us, back-biting and if we do talk about each other it is out of genuine concern and love."
