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Sweet November
It's a to-do list I made to remember the divorce bucket list I'd started when I was getting ready to separate from my husband. Since then -- the first anniversary of my saying "I want a divorce" -- I've done so many things and crossed off a lot of items. But I think I need to update it with more fun stuff, and I need to take stock of how far I've come. So here's my very personal divorce list.
- Paint a wall pink. I haven't done this literally, but I've made a few girly decorating changes around my home that Ben would have vetoed.
- Write my will. I need to do this! I did have one before though.
- Have a make out session. I got married young and Mormon, so I missed out on this before I got married.
- Have lunch with my friends. Mandatory, as much as possible.
- Take a trip alone. Not a single-mom vacation with the kids -- ALONE, preferably overseas, in a foreign country, or at a beach.
- Buy flowers for myself. Because they make me happy and I know exactly the kind I want.
- Go out as mutton dressed like lamb. No one will die as a result.
- Get in shape. I started with Zumba class and have now added yoga. This helps ward off depression, makes me feel energetic and powerful, and okay, maybe helps me look a bit better, too.
- Get a grip on my finances. Where is my money coming from, how much do I have, where is it all going? What are my goals?
- Meditate. I need to get back in the habit, but this practice really carried me through some tough months.
- Get a theme song. I change mine from time to time, but I need something that makes me feel like a superhero.
- Flake. I've become an expert.
- Do therapy. Can't even imagine doing divorce without this.
- Get a massage. (Why stop at one?)
- Swim in the ocean naked. (Still haven't done this one.)
- Get my cards read. Getting insight into my life from someone who didn't know me, who wasn't a therapist, either, was so enlightening.
- Learn to say no. I needed to set new limits so I wouldn't feel overwhelmed -- or guilty.
- Learn to say yes. On the other hand, saying yes to trying new things helped me move forward.
- Sleep in ridiculously late while my boys are at dad's. One benefit of my family now living in two different households.
- Sleep in my bed diagonally. Because I can.
- Watch a movie alone. This is so fun, I'd recommend it for married women, too.
- Flirt with strangers. They just might flirt back.
- Go grocery shopping with my sunglasses on. (This was for the first day or two after being separated.)
- Spend a day in bed crying. Get up the next day and move on with my life.
- Take a dance class. Dancing forces you to think one step ahead and stay light on your feet.
- Start a Pinterest board. Yeah, I'm that big of a dork.
- Make a list of everything I want in my next boyfriend. Because hope is healthy.
- Date outside my type. How'd that type work out last time? Not so great, right? Yup, time to try something new.
- Buy and wear something stylish that makes me feel hot. Just so I remember I'm still youngish and alive.
- Learn to make myself happy alone. Before I start dating.
- Watch Hope Floats. This is the best divorce movie ever.
- Pay it forward and talk with a friend who just separated from her husband. I need to do this more often, but it's how I show my gratitude to the friends who helped me.
- Find something about my marriage to laugh about. Remember the good times, go easy on us both.
- Become my own handyman. I now know how to unclog the pipes under my sink! I'm not saying I like doing this, but I like knowing that I can.
- Spend a week in Ireland. Doing that soon!
- Read journals from before I was married. That helped me remember who I was before and why I got married in the first place.
- Eat ice cream for dinner. I did this once and was shocked at how good it made me feel. And then I never did it ever, ever again.
- Learn how to walk in high heels. Sexy and dignified at the same time -- it's possible. I think?
- Stay up all night writing. Maybe it could just be a country song? Move on and think about the role I played in my relationship.
- Learn to forgive. That's when I'm truly free.
- Get my RN license. Still working on this.
- Buy myself an "I'm Divorced" ring. As soon as it was finalized, friend.
