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| {You, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. - Buddha} |
On this, the last day of 2014, I tell you this not as an after picture who can't even remember that girl from last year, but as someone who has lived this past year taking two steps forward and one step back. For my willingness to give you this honesty, I am proud.
On most days, I kept a running mental tally of all the ways I messed up - all the dumbs things I said, the stupid things I did, and the inevitably unsuccessful attempts I made to help my boys awaken their self-confidence. How could they when I wasn't willing to lead the way?
It's important that we all realize
we are beautiful and wonderful just as we are-light and dark, in our complete authentic selves.
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| {Know that you are not your worst mistakes} |
Our past actions shaped today, but we are not what we've been. We don't need to carry around labels or mistakes from yesterday as if they define us. I want my boys to know: whatever you've done, it's over. It doesn't have to brand you, particularly not if you're making the conscious choice to do things differently now.
I can judge myself by the weakest moments
or the strongest-that's my choice. I choose to focus on the strongest, and then use that pride for more of those moments. Every single time I feel good about what I do, it's one more reminder to love who I am.
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| {Know that you have nothing to prove} |
I don't care how successful someone is; there are things they're proud of and things they're ashamed of, and inside they wish people would see more of the first and less of the last.
It's an intrinsic human need to feel connected to other people. And sometimes, when I feel alone, it's because I believe I haven't proven how good I am or how good I can be.
I want my boys to know they don't have to show the world that they are good. I don't want them to feel like they have to hide the things that they have done that they might not seem flattering. Just forgive and accept themselves and trust that other people will as well.
By being authentic I feel vulnerable-letting people see all my different flaws, trusting they won't judge me, and knowing at the same time that if they do, it's completely on them. I don't know about you, but I'd rather be real with people, and know the ones who accept me as is, than pretend to be someone I'm not.
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| {Know that dark is valuable} |
So I have made mistakes-who hasn't? The beauty of having fallen is that you can help the world with your experiences. Because I'm human, I can empathize when other people are hurting. I can reach out of myself, forget my own pain, and hold other people up when they need it. And guess what? When I realize I have strengths and weaknesses and that I can help the world and bring us closer together, suddenly they seem less like liabilities and more like assets.
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| {Know that you matter} |
I couldn't believe I mattered until a wise friend said it to me. I know I do matter. And that how I matter is dependent on what I do from day to day. Sometimes it feels stronger than others.
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| {Do something kind for others} |
Do something kind for you. Do something kind for the world.
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| {Know that positive feelings and actions breed more} |
Acknowledge your weaknesses, work to improve them by setting resolutions, but say loud and proud that they will not define you. If I start worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, I remember that I deserve to enjoy the present, but only I can make it happen.
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| {Get out in the world} |
Do that thing that scares and excites you. Recognize that you are awesome for doing it, even if in just one small step. I hope that my boys know they have permission to not be perfect, and instead focus on progress. And to treat themselves as they would a good friend. With kindness. I hope it creates in them a revolution instead of a resolution.
