I took Morgen to Instacare today after school to have his wrist x-rayed. It isn't broken, just a sprain the Dr. said, but he needs to keep it in the splint for 10-14 days. He was playing around with his friends Allen and Bubba after school yesterday, and Bubba put Morgen on his shoulders and was running around outside the school when Morgen said that Allen pushed him over off the back of Bubba and he landed on his wrist. Bubba is the same age as Morgen but he is about a foot taller. The same kids were goofing around a few weeks ago and Morgen came home with a bruise. I also pulled up last week in front of the school just in time to see Morgen being thrown into a pile of snow by the same boy. It makes me question whether this is a form of bullying or just boys being boys? Where do you draw the line? Morgen said that they were just playing around, but if he keeps getting hurt, is it really playing?
A few weeks ago Max and Markus came home with a flyer on school bullying as they had just had an assembly on it at school:
Be an Ally- Project Change
If you witness bullying, DON’T JUST STAND BY. BE AN ALLY!
If you just watch bullying happen and don’t do anything, you are a bystander. Bystanders to bullying often end up feeling guilty, powerless and afraid. Bystanders don’t help put a stop to bullying in their schools. Allies do! An ally is someone who takes action to help the target of bullying.
An ally can:
• Say something comforting to the target
• Help by walking with the target when the bully is around
• Go with the target to report the bullying to an adult
• Speak up to the bully and tell the bully to stop
• Remember, it is important to help keep yourself and others safe. Never confront a bully directly if you think that the bully will hurt you or someone else. You can still be an ally to the target using one of the other strategies above.
If you are being bullied:
• There is nothing wrong with you. You didn’t cause yourself to be the target of a bully. You don’t deserve this.
• The person doing the bullying is wrong and should stop.
• Just because the points above are true doesn’t mean that the bully will stop or that there is nothing you can do about the situation.
• There is not one right, perfect solution for every person. It may take some trial and error to figure out what will work in your situation
• You can start by learning more about bullying in general.
Here are techniques that have worked for some kids. You may need to try several techniques to find the most successful combination for your situation.
Plan ahead (for example, talk to a friend ahead of time about walking together; find a different route to avoid a hot spot) and practice each of these techniques so that you are prepared to use one or more of them, when necessary:These suggestions should be helpful to lots of people who are dealing with bullying situations in their lives now. But, to reduce bullying on a larger scale requires community efforts. For example:
Act confident. When you feel intimidated by another person, you're probably not feeling very confident. But sometimes just acting confident is enough to stop a bully. When you look self-assured as you walk by a bully, it’s possible that the bully won’t pick you as a target. Acting confident might take some practice.
Avoid hot spots. If there are particular places where the bullying occurs, try to find ways to avoid those locations (at least when the bully is present). If you absolutely can’t avoid being in the “hot spot,” act confident and try one of the other techniques.
Pretend to ignore the bully. Sometimes, acting as if you don't notice or don't care might stop a bully's behavior. Some bullies want to see a reaction from their target, so ignoring might stop the bullying behavior. Other bullies don’t care if they see a reaction or not – they bully just because they like to and because they think they can get away with it. With these bullies, try other strategies.
Use humor. Bullies might be surprised enough to stop their behavior if you use humor. Showing that you have a sense of humor about yourself is different than putting yourself down. For instance, if a bully makes fun of your appearance you could respond by saying “it’s a good thing I’m not planning to major in modeling in college.”
Walk with others. A bully might be less likely to pick you as a target if you are with another person or in a group. If you are having trouble finding another student who will help you with this, ask an adult for suggestions.
Use firm words. Kids can stand up for themselves by firmly saying (not whining) “Stop it!” to the bully.
Tell an adult. If you are being bullied, it's very important to tell an adult. In addition to your parents, you can talk to teachers, counselors, principals, adult volunteers, lunchroom helpers, and playground aides at school for help with bullying problems. If the bullying causes you to fear for your safety, or the safety of someone else, it may also be necessary to contact the police.
Keep track. If you keep a journal or a diary, you can keep track of bullying in case you need to report it. If you don’t keep a journal, ask a family member to help you with this. Include dates, times, and places where you have been bullied, as well as the names of the bullies and what they did or said.
Don't bully back. Bullying back (either physically or verbally) may only escalate the situation. Physically fighting a bully is dangerous – it could result in someone getting hurt, and you could end up in trouble for fighting.
• Bringing together people in different parts of the community (like law enforcement, doctors, educators, researchers, students, etc.) to develop a comprehensive community-wide action plan
• Advocating with your school administration and board of education for a better anti-bullying policy
• Contacting your elected officials to encourage them to propose and support legislation aimed at bullying prevention
You Have The Power! to help reduce bullying in your community in several ways:
• You Have The Power! to use strategies to help yourself
• You Have The Power! to become an ally to help someone else
• You Have The Power! to become an advocate to help the entire community
