So what do you do when faced with this situation? Don't panic! "It sure as heck isn't uncommon" to feel stressed about such situations, when it comes to obnoxious people, the list may be long. The source of your grief may be a step-sister, a lecherous brother-in-law, a condescending sibling or a bully. The person may not even be aware of the grief they cause. Roger Mellott said, 'You cannot enlighten the unconscious.' It's a wonderful phrase for people who are dealing with people who are basically obtuse. They just don't get it.
Former spouses and blended families can add other layers of emotional turbulence, particularly at weddings and funerals, with a 50% divorce rate, there is a lot of that going on. There are a lot of other partners and new children and stepchildren.
Attitude is vital when heading to a gathering you dread. "If you're going to go, go," has been said. "Make it the best it can be instead of grousing and grumbling." But how you might ask? I don't know, but here are some suggestions I find helpful.
- BRACE YOURSELF: Realize the disliked behaviour or actions will likely occur during this visit.
- TIMING: You may want to arrive late and leave early.
- OBSERVE: Step back from the fray and watch people. Try to be objective and avoid judging. If you feel as if you're looking in, things are apt to be less upsetting.
- HAVE FUN: Enjoy the food. Hang out with people you like. When it comes to those who cause you grief, avoid them or limit your contact to a very brief chat.
- DON'T COMPETE: When someone goes on and on about his wonderful and successful life, don't try to match his comments. Just let it go. It's not a contest.
