Hope

Last week, about mid-afternoon, something emotionally devastating happened to me. The details of it are not important. The important thing is that I was a total and complete wreck in every way. I wanted to talk about it right then with someone who loved me unconditionally, someone I could rely on to take my side (at least until I was ready to hear criticism).

So I prayed.

It wasn’t much of a conversation since I wasn’t ready to listen and I didn’t have time to spend on my knees anyway. It was just sort of a shout out to God: “I’m here, and I need you NOW!” I didn’t feel any immediate help or consolation, but I was able to make it through the day.

I've always liked the movie Hope Floats and not just because it has Harry Connick Jr. in it. It always makes me cry no matter how many times I have seen it. Do you have any movies like that? That make you emotional no matter how many times you watch them? Well, I do, anyways, so I came home and watched it while I was folding the laundry. At the end of the movie, Sandra Bullocks' character, Birdee says,

"Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad, but it's what's in the middle that counts. So, when you find yourself at the beginning, just give hope a chance to float up. And it will."

I guess the role of faith in all this is not necessarily the assurance that I won’t feel alone, but the assurance that God knows what He’s doing with me, even if it hurts.