If someone asked you what makes you happy, your first answer might be pralines and cream ice cream, Caribbean cruises, or fabulous sex, but the effect of those things on happiness is fleeting. Happiness includes not only pleasure, but also engagement and meaning. Lasting happiness- like lasting love- is more than a good feeling. It is engaging work, satisfying relationships, and spiritual connections. But, even the most engaging person can bog down without regular laughter, fun and delight. Here is what I think "happy" is:
1. Getting some exercise. Exercise is the best long-term happiness booster there is, but sometimes I feel worse rather than better when actually pumping that iron or pounding that treadmill. I still benefit both physically and emotionally from exercise, but occasionally I have to put up with not liking it while I do it. I like running with a friend or dancing in a class.
2. Counting blessings. But not every night. The happiness boost wears off if I keep doing the same thing day after day, I'm better to count my blessings once or twice a week.
3. Doing five small acts of kindness one day each week. While a great thing to do, if I clump my good works onto one day of the week and change what I do I am more likely to actually feel better.
4. Pursuing interesting goals I’ve chosen (as long as they are goals that interest and challenge me, not just things that guilt me if I don’t do them). I also think being goal-oriented is better for creating happiness than being goal-accomplished. Actually reaching goals is sometimes a letdown.
5. Practicing my most defining character strengths like curiosity, humor and the ability to love. I'm happier if I spend most of my energy contributing to the world from these strengths.
6. Spending: just some of my cash on treats and frivolities. Not spending money on a new boat. Sorry, the big hits are memorable but small things spread over a long time will more likely boost my mood. I would rather have some friends over for dessert and games instead.
7. Writing - it feels good. Reminiscing is fun, but writing about what I learned and how I grew in the face of trials is even better.
8. Dreaming about what my life would be like a year or ten years from now if I accomplished all my goals. Imagining what that might look like, even if I don’t get there, builds hope.
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| {Markus ~ Three Years Old} |
So what is your "Happy"?
Happiness is the ultimate currency.
It is how everything else in life is measured - to make us truly and lastingly happy.
