The Culprit

When I first started going through my divorce almost five years ago, I was scared. Because I truly want to recover from my divorce, I realized there comes a time when the fear needs to stop, and it’s time to pick myself up off the floor, dust myself off and start my new life. I’m not trying to make it sound simple or easy. It’s not. The way I see it I have two choices. Be afraid for the rest of my life or go out and grab the life I want. And THAT is a simple choice, isn’t it?

I saw a woman at hockey camp today who is clearly not ready to stop playing the victim. I wish I could put a magic spell on her so she would say, “Okay, what happened to me truly stinks, and it wasn't fair at all, but that’s irrelevant now. I have three healthy children who love me, I’m beautiful, I  have the ability to be successful professionally, and if I have the guts to put myself out there, my opportunities are endless, both professionally and personally.”

I want to add that I know how hard it is, not only to figure out a career that works with kids, but to get in the door of any company after not working for a long stretch of time. I have been there. Before I got my job, I had so many rejection emails I couldn't even count them all. It’s hard, but I knew I had to be persistent and strong and display an obnoxious amount of perseverance. That’s just the way it is.

I feel like it’s okay to play the victim for a little while. But at one point, it suddenly became clear that it not only became unproductive, but it could have destroyed me, and I decided not to let it ruin any chance I had at happiness.

The opposite of “victim” is “criminal” or “culprit” so in a sense, yes, I want to be the opposite. Be the culprit (which technically means “the accused person.”) 

Be accused of going out on dates (with the coolest boy in town!)

Having as much fun with my boys as I possibly can

I plan on being accused of pursuing my dreams

Traveling too much

Smiling excessively

I was only a victim until I decided I was not one anymore.