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| 1 year old |
I don't know that you've been waiting for this day, I do know that you have big plans to celebrate. Before you go to the concert with your friends, I wanted to tell you some things now that you're an adult. Soon you will be headed out in to the world, and it tugs on my heart as nothing ever has before. I love all of my three boys equally, I bonded with you in such a way I think because you're my middle son, and I am a middle child as well. I hope that the choices I've made along the way have been the right ones for you. Your future is in your hands. It seems like yesterday I was bringing you home from the hospital, helping you take your first steps, taking you to kindergarten while I cried my eyes out, kissing your owies, and reading you bedtime stories...there are so many "firsts." You made my life better just by being in it. I couldn't have asked for a better son - even in my wildest dreams. You're:
- wonderfully loving
- sweet
- thoughtful
- generous
- caring
- smart
- funny
- young
I'm just the lucky mom who gets to claim you and love you.
I don't mean to embarrass you with this; however I do believe that it's my prerogative to allow my emotions to overwhelm me at certain points of my life. The opportunity to begin the next chapter of your life as you enter into adult-hood is one of them. It's because this means that my chapter as your mom is going to begin changing as well. So please be patient with me as I'm crying as I write this. From the first moment you were in my tummy, I experienced this unimaginable joy and love. Unconditional love, from the first look in your eyes to the first time you wrapped your little fist around my finger, I was instantly in love with you. I remember standing by your crib for hours, just looking at you, watching you sleep. I was in awe that such a precious, perfect little baby was mine. I would sometimes just cry little tears of joy as I held you, and some nights I would get up and hold you while you slept. I feel like the luckiest mom alive to have you for my son. It's been 18 years of pure emotion being your mom, love, joy, worry, sometimes the emotion wasn't even mine, but yours. When you're happy, excited, or sad, I feel those things too. Did I help you feel important, and did we find enough time for the important things like memories of laughter, hugs, and "just the two of us" moments? Did I show you enough that you mean the world to me? And more importantly, do you know that I love you? I hope so and that I helped you feel cherished and loved.
I find myself looking at you wondering if I've told you all the things that you'll need to know to go out on your own, where I'll no longer be a part of your everyday life. There will be college (hopefully) work, maybe hockey, Preslee who stole your heart, some career that keeps you busy. I know that my opportunities to teach and influence you will soon slow down to only Sunday dinners sometimes, and holidays. You are responsible for your own life, and as scary as that sounds, your emotional well-being, your fortune, your happiness all essentially belong to you to steer in any direction you choose which is also exciting. I'll still be here to hold your hand for as long as you'd like (I'm not going to move all your belongings out into the driveway like Dad's mom did. Not yet anyways. :)) I know you aren't sure what life has in store for you, but like I've said before, just plan to be surprised. Some of the best things in life are surprises. I'm a little nervous for you and at the same time glowing with pride at the young man you have grown up to be. The days are long, but the years are short.
Pay attention to the things you're naturally drawn to. They are often connected to your path, passion, and purpose in life. Have the courage to follow them. Next week, at your graduation from high school, I hope you will know, of all the things in my life that I might have, could have, or should have done differently, there's one thing I'd never change, and that's having you for a son. If I didn't say it before, I'm saying it now, and I hope I always showed it - I'm proud to be your mom...forever.
I find myself looking at you wondering if I've told you all the things that you'll need to know to go out on your own, where I'll no longer be a part of your everyday life. There will be college (hopefully) work, maybe hockey, Preslee who stole your heart, some career that keeps you busy. I know that my opportunities to teach and influence you will soon slow down to only Sunday dinners sometimes, and holidays. You are responsible for your own life, and as scary as that sounds, your emotional well-being, your fortune, your happiness all essentially belong to you to steer in any direction you choose which is also exciting. I'll still be here to hold your hand for as long as you'd like (I'm not going to move all your belongings out into the driveway like Dad's mom did. Not yet anyways. :)) I know you aren't sure what life has in store for you, but like I've said before, just plan to be surprised. Some of the best things in life are surprises. I'm a little nervous for you and at the same time glowing with pride at the young man you have grown up to be. The days are long, but the years are short.
Pay attention to the things you're naturally drawn to. They are often connected to your path, passion, and purpose in life. Have the courage to follow them. Next week, at your graduation from high school, I hope you will know, of all the things in my life that I might have, could have, or should have done differently, there's one thing I'd never change, and that's having you for a son. If I didn't say it before, I'm saying it now, and I hope I always showed it - I'm proud to be your mom...forever.
I love you my sweet, baby boy... with all my heart and soul.
Happy 18th birthday!! xoxoxoxo
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Please wish Max a very happy 18th birthday today! He really deserves all the love and good wishes he can receive, from everyone I know.
