Our lives are intricate webs of relationships and forces – home, church, school, community, family, friends. A shift in one area, relationship, or routine sends ripples across the whole system. It begs to be static.
It’s why bad patterns cycle over and over again. It’s why relationships stay dysfunctional. It’s why although people express a desire for change, it often never materializes. It’s why we set the same new year’s resolutions every year.
It is a lot of work to change.
One thing I hated about having a dad in real estate was moving. There was something about wiping the slate clean every 3 years or so. Sure it was fun to make new friends. But part of me yearned to never change – to keep the parts I liked and stay somewhere and be the same person.
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| 10 year old B |
I was very happy as a child. But as I reached my Jr high years, I really didn’t like changing. I wanted to be the same little girl I had always been. The trouble was it was too hard to not change in a body where everything was changing in front of me. I felt like everyone would notice and that attention would only add awkwardness to my attempts of staying little. When we moved to Utah just before I started high school, I decided to leave that part of me behind. It was hard, my instinct was to be obedient, to be helpful, to not spontaneously do anything without thinking about it. Still, I was determined. I wrote in my journal, "No matter where you go, there you are." Somehow I managed to pull it off. At least for awhile. I didn’t expect much, it only was baby steps, so it became natural to continue. As I looked back years later, I saw how powerful that experience made me feel – how meaningful it was to decide upon change and make it happen. Above all I was grateful for the space to change.
Lately, I have been thinking about change and growth and how it relates to ourselves, our friendships, our families.
Are there things you’d like to change?
