Homecoming

{Morgen and Rikki met in Zoology class}

Morgen asked Rikki to homecoming tonight. I think they had a good time, from what Morgen told me about it.

Me: Hi! Tell me about your night?

Morg: It was fun I guess.

Me: Do you want to tell me what was fun about it?

Morg: Not really.

Me: Thanks for sending me the pictures.

Morg: uh-huh (As he is walking upstairs)

Me: You going to bed?

Morg: Yep.

Me: Good night. Love you.

Morg: You too.

I love communication with teenagers. I have been reading a lot of books and articles on talking to teens, especially boys dealing with depression and drugs. First thing I learned:

Offer support - Let depressed teenagers know that you’re there for them, fully and unconditionally. Hold back from asking a lot of questions (teenagers don’t like to feel patronized or crowded), but make it clear that you’re ready and willing to provide whatever support they need.

Be gentle but persistent - Don’t give up if your adolescent shuts you out at first. Talking about depression can be very tough for teens. Be respectful of your child’s comfort level while still emphasizing your concern and willingness to listen.

Listen without lecturing - Resist any urge to criticize or pass judgment once your teenager begins to talk. The important thing is that your child is communicating. Avoid offering unsolicited advice or ultimatums as well.

Validate feelings - Don’t try to talk teens out of their depression, even if their feelings or concerns appear silly or irrational to you. Simply acknowledge the pain and sadness they are feeling. If you don’t, they will feel like you don’t take their emotions seriously.

I know I have a long way to go on this and I'm learning to be patient with myself. I'm also trying to take care of myself and Max and Markus so they don't feel like they have to walk on eggshells or worse, feel like it is something they did. It helps to talk with my friends about what's going on instead of bottling it up inside. I'm not giving up.