I am a woman of my promise. When I promise the kids ice cream after a day of errands, I get them ice cream. When I state a punishment, I am also a woman of my word, and I have been consistent with my own commitment to that promise (not willingly sometimes -because seriously, who enjoys punishing their kids?). I don't just say, “If you don’t do X, then Y will happen.” When will it happen? After how much yelling? After how much nagging? Will I back out, secretly wishing they would just straighten up? Nope. I start every sentence when I’m trying to redirect bad behavior with the words, “I promise…if you don’t choose to stop/start [insert behavior], then [insert consequence] will happen.” The longer I’ve done it, the less painful it’s been for me to come up with a consequence. At first, I struggled to connect the behavior to the consequence, but over time, it became more natural. Just yesterday, I said, “I promise, if you don’t help me pick up the family room, we simply won’t have time to go to Max's hockey team party.” Simple…straightforward…my boys turned into cleaning machines. This afternoon, I promised my patient if she would muscle through Physical Therapy (she didn't want to go today after being up all night with back pain), I would take her a warm blanket and let her nap until lunch time. I PROMISED, and I kept my promise. I gently reminded my boys tonight when they came home that I’m a woman who keeps her promises…all of them. Even letting them stay out late for night games.
I can prove it: we’ve been home on Summer Vacation for 78 days, all but 3 of them at home, and no one is dead yet. It’s a parenting miracle!
