When I walked in to the hospital today after church, this is what I saw. The sweetest site I have seen in a long time. Sheri was able to hold sweet Connor today for the first time since she had him on Wednesday. I can not believe how much love I have already for that little guy. She and I talked and cried and talked some more about Connor, life, and hearts, for over four hours. I have never talked with Sheri about anything for that long. We always got along pretty well growing up, since we are 2 years apart, we usually played together and sometimes fought (okay, we fought a lot) but still I have never really felt close to her. Some of my other sisters and I talk about our lives but for whatever reason Sheri and I never have until today.
I remember reading about someone in Critical Condition on Nienie's blog once. She talked about the whole family being in critical condition when someone is and now I know what she means. It made me grateful for my health. And for my sons. And for my sister who is going through such a frightening experience with courage and grace. As I went to go home, she turned to me and said, "Don't go. Do you have to leave? This is the most time we've ever spent together."
It's true. Though we've been sisters for 35 years, we don't know each other as well as we could. We've always said hello at parties, waived from our cars as we were dropping off kids, and often had pleasant conversations while visiting my parents, but I haven't kept really good track of how she and Shane were getting along. We live 2 hours from each other but we have cell phones, still, once we leave each other we're in our own worlds.
"You call me if you need help, all right?" I told her yesterday. She nodded vaguely. Then I closed the door and prayed that somehow I might be able to help.
That's when I thought, "The problem is, she won't do that." Then it came to me, "You'll have to think of things to help, or she won't let you know she needs you."
So, I listened to myself for once and brought her some cinnamon rolls, a blanket and socks for Connor and a nursing cover for her to use when she is pumping at the hospital, so she doesn't have to hold up a blanket and try to hook all the equipment up. I begged her to call me.
Later on I actually got a call. Through tears, she asked if I could bring her a boppy pillow because her husband is at work and can't help right now. Of course I said yes. But there's nothing special about that. My neighbors across the street have offered to do the same. And all of my sister's have been helping too. We're all desperate to do something.
As I headed home, I thought of all I'd learned today. I learned that my sister is a fan of Dan Brown novels, HGTV, and yogurt. I learned that she's open minded, that she asked Shane out on their first date, and she wouldn't mind living in Utah again, though she likes it in Idaho, too. I also learned that though we may not know each other very well, it doesn't matter. Because sometimes sisters stay strangers. And sometimes, sisters become friends. And sometimes it takes a crisis for the one to turn into the other.
