Tension Tamers

As I write this, Ben is grumping around upstairs organizing his high-council binder. He has not been sleeping well at all (3 hours total last night) and as a result, is not a happy camper. Morgen is at scouts and will need a ride home in a few minutes, Max and Markus are playing baseball with the neighbor boys and I should be folding a batch of laundry but I am blogging instead. It is, in other words, a normal day in a normal American household, where most things are shared -- including the stress. Research shows that children mirror our stress and I was just reading something in a magazine that talks about tips and strategies for reducing everyday stress.

1. Head Outdoors: Researchers are starting to unravel the science behind the stress busting power of the great outdoors. "The human co-evolved with nature, so without even being aware of it, we respond to nature in an instinctual way, using our senses differently, breathing differently," explains Melinda Pruett-Jones, executive director of the Chicago Wilderness consortium. I have always believed that being outside is one of the best ways to be happier. I love to sit out on the swing at night, enjoying the cool breeze, either reading or listening to music and watching the boys play night games.

2. Make time for people and pets: simply spending time with friends or animals has the power to whittle away stress. I love to have my friends over for dinner to share a meal and conversation. We play catch-up and discuss problems and solutions, which helps ease everyday pressures. I have always thought that there is no better way to forget your own stress, than by serving someone else and now there is research showing that your body actually produces endorphins when you help others.

3. Get some exercise: Exercise actually causes a shift in brain chemistry. A good workout releases feel-good chemicals, including endorphins, and helps override stress chemicals, such as cortisol. Which explains why I when I get "complainy", I break out my running shoes and go for a run. Afterwards I am usually feeling better again. To banish the pressures of the day, I love to clear out the family room table and turn on my favorite tunes so I can dance with my little buddies for an impromptu after-lunch dance party. Morgen kind of looks at me funny now when I do it, but he used to really like it. Max and Markus always start giggling.

4. Slow Down: Easier said than done for me. I can do it though, especially if I go to a yoga class, which I really love to do. I take a minute to breathe deeply before the class begins and it makes a huge difference. Deep breathing can stimulate the body's parasympathetic, or calming system, they say. In fact, I think I may go to that class tomorrow morning. Ommmmmm..........

5. Start a soothing ritual: Whenever my kids are feeling bummed about a certain situation or day, I ask them 'What is the best thing that happened today?' It is not always easy to recognize what good might come from an unfortunate situation, but it teaches my kids to look at the bright side of life. In addition to the lessons they can offer, rituals provide a sense of safety, predictability, and structure.

6. Don't forget to play: I am talking about real play, the kind that's spontaneous, unscripted and has no purpose other than pure enjoyment. "When you play spontaneously, you begin to discover that there's a whole other dimension to life that has nothing to do with tasks or being right and wrong," says Adam Blatner, author of 'The Art of Play' - and that can be a potent stress reliever. I love to blow bubbles outside on the porch with Markus, that is why it is covered with little sticky dots! Also, sidewalk chalk is fun to draw and doodle with until the driveway is covered with art. By the time Max and I are done, I am ready to face the world with a renewed sense of calm.

7. Talk to each other: Hello! I absolutely, positively love to communicate. The kind in which each person's opinion counts. Come to find out, this kind of communication not only relieves stress but can actually prevent it. What a concept!!! That is what I love, to help people reduce stress in life. Share one anothers burdens, joy and pain, sunshine and rain.