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| {Max with Markus ~ 2 months old} |
I was so busy keeping my boys from stepping on the flowers in the cart that I almost ran into the old woman in front of us. Three boys under the age of seven and a basket full of perennials made it quite a spectacle at home depot that day. She smiled at us and patted my arm. “You must love growing things.” I could only smile weakly and reply, “Yes, I guess I do?”
When I had little ones at home every day it seemed like a hundred hours long. But around First Grade somebody hit a cosmic fast forward button and before you know it they are passing the sacrament and taking Driver’s Ed and I was standing there with a bewildered look whining, “I swear he was just starting preschool about five minutes ago.”
I imagine in another five minutes I will have children leaving for missions and getting married. Five minutes after that I will be a wrinkly grey Granny skating at drop-in with my grand kids.
I see how fast my boys are growing and it makes me appreciate my youngest that much more. I don’t wish the days away like I did when it felt like my house was baby central; when my house was full of crying voices (including mine) and all our days ran together separated only by church and story time at the library.
I know why I want to just live in the moment and appreciate it for its beauty. Like today - I realize how lovely and magical it was. I want to savor it; just like I savored the spit-up and the crayon on the walls and the bikes left out on the front lawn. Savor the youth and energy of my children, of ourselves. I know that it does go so fast and it is such a splendid, beautiful, messy gift.
And hopefully, maybe just for a minute, I will understand. Maybe I will stop and look–really look–at my beautiful babies and love them in the moment.
